Me, Kicking

Petsila training me in Ring 1. My left kick, in fine form. Too bad from the way the pad is being held it makes it look all wierd and like it's squooshing my boob. Oh well. Notice how I'm glistening with sweat. We just drip. Anyhow, thassme, kickin arse!

I had Petsila at the beginning of the week for the first time in many weeks.... and I felt so sick and fatigued, it was awful. I knew I looked and trained like sh*t and had no power at all, and he didn't seem that into it, consequently. I almost had to finish at 3 rounds, but I stuck it out. I even apologized. I wasn't "contagious" or I wouldn't have gone, but by the time I was done I was dizzy and awful, UG!

The next day it was similar (I had him again). Finally, I had him a third time and I felt GREAT. And he smiled big after like half a minute and was like, "You feel BETTER today, Mary!" and started showing me new stuff and put a smile on my face.

It felt good.

I'm finally BACK.

Adjusted to the heat.

Sleeping again.

Eating great.

Moved to a new room at the gym, inside the gym, to rock the next six weeks.

And pumped.

Life is good!

Thank You, *Name Censored* Resort!

Today was finally hot and sunny, and I was feeling good after sleeping great for the 2nd night in a row and, consequently, sleeping off a big majority of the mild "ick" that was going around that I was trying to ward off. Even Petsila had noticed that I was feeling better yesterday, which was a great feeling, but today I woke up even better that that. FINALLY!

I didn't want to go to the beach with everyone. I knew it would be crowded and sandy, I'd have to hitch a ride, blah blah blah. Nope, I wanted to get away. And work on my tan.

I started walking to the local pool, it's at one of the resorts. As long as you order something from the restaurant or bar, you are welcome to swim there as it's usually pretty empty. Works for us, right?

As I was walking I decided to try a different place that advertised a pool. The Thai guys working the gate let me in, and I snuck into the greatest pool I've ever seen. 680 square meters of the most gorgeous and well-tended pool these eyes have ever seen. It had all sorts of crevaces, a bar, a big loop around the building I could swim in if I wanted, etc.

I took the liberty of using one of their towels and sprawled out on a nice lawn chair, and immediately some dude came over to see if I wanted a cushion on it, under me. I told him I was fine. He asked what my room number was or if I was with the spa and I just said "Spa" and gave him a confused look. It seemed to work because everybody was fine with me the whole time.

I hope it works next time because I intend on going back. The water had a salt-water treatment, there were fountains everywhere, the view was breathtaking, geeze, I could go on and on. I also am not telling anyone what place it was (except maybe Lindsey) because I have a feeling I'm very lucky to have allowed in even though I can probably get in again, and I don't want to jeapordize that because everybody needs a hideout. ;-)

I mean, what a great Halloween! Normally in Chicago right now it's nasty out. Even Oregon is pleasant but not like this.

Now it's 3pm and time to start getting ready for training --- and to check out my color. The sun was HOT HOT HOT! You an tell High Season is around the corner!

Update . . . . .

Okay, for all those who asked, and because I'm not worried about it since it's tough to get in there, lol, and I think I managed because I was alone and all that hoo-ha and may not even be able to again, it was the Mangosteen Resort & Spa, which is very close to the gym!

Som Tam

Som Tam is definitely one of the greatest food inventions ever, hands down. Lindsay took me to get it for the first time, and I've been hooked ever since. It's 99% raw, 99% vegan (if you get it with no shrimp), and virtually fat-free. Does it get any better?

Som Tam is essentially "spicy green papaya salad", papaya being one of the top foods you can eat.

As of late, especially warding off whatever is going around, I've been eating especially well----and that means a lot of Som Tam. Where I like to go to get it has been putting extra garlic and extra chili pepper in it for me, to help boost my immunity.

Unfortunately, I saw them put a heaping spoonful of straight MSG in the dish, too, which is totally the NORM here, but something I'll be asking them to omit from here on out, geeze! It's amazing how many people here roll their eyes at the idea of being MSG-conscious, but it just goes to show how many have studied the topic. It's total poison, and something I may post more about.

Otherwise, Som Tam is full of flavor and super-healthy ingredients, so I refuse to give it up. And I love to watch it being made, because it's all done by pounding, with a mortar and pestle. So friggin cool!

I started researching Som Tam, because it's one of the few dishes I truly want to be able to make. I found this excellent write-up on it by an obviously charismatic dude. Here it is:

Introduction To Thai Food: Som Tam

by Robert Orson

Being married to a Thai for the last few years has meant learning a fair amount about Thai food. This isn't such a great accomplishment because it's usually the main topic of our conversations.

My wife once told me that a Thai would be most happy if she could eat seven times a day and I think she is pretty close to that mark. Any time she's not actually eating she can be counted on to be thinking of what or where to eat next.

There's obviously some kind of health secret here. If she's carrying two pounds extra, I have no idea where she's hiding it. If I ate like she did, it would take a crane to get me out of bed in the mornings. The answer must be that what she's eating must be healthy as well as delicious. Her number one favorite meal, snack, between meal pick-me-up, comfort food and health potion is ... somtam.

I confess that I had been thinking of somtam as a low class street vender food until I read a newspaper review of a local restaurant in Chiang Mai (Huen Phen) that quoted world class chef and author, Anthony Bourdain as saying that "their papaya salad is in fact the best salad he has ever eaten." Interesting.

Since then I've eaten it there, ordered it in other restaurants and stood beside street vendors in back alleys as they made some for me. It's always very good and I'm reminded of the great line that David Mamet wrote in Wag the Dog,"There are two things I know to be true. There's no difference between good flan and bad flan, and there is no war in Albania." My wife tells me that all somtam is good but there are some she likes more than others.

Regardless of where you get your somtam in Thailand, what I like is that it is always prepared fresh and usually in the front section of the restaurant (or behind the small glass booth perched on the street cart.)

The essentials are basic: a sharp knife, a spoon and a morter and pestle. The preparation is a blur of culinary poetry.

Throw a handful of chilies into the morter and give a good pound or two with the pestle to release the heat. In quick succession add some coarsely chopped tomato, a dash of sugar, a good splash of fish sauce (available now in most oriental markets,) a small spoon of lemon juice, a clove or two of garlic and (usually) some MSG.

The sauce is finished with the addition of a few tiny, whole crabs (poo) and some salted, fermented fish (balak.)
Pound and stir to bruise and mix the sauce then quickly julienne a firm green papaya and add the spaghetti sized pieces to the brew.

Pound and stir one last time to wilt the green fruit in the sauce. Spoon the salad to a plate or bowl and it will invariably look naturally elegant.

Now for the vocabulary to make sure it's done to your taste. Order Somtam Lao if you want the pungent, sour taste of the balak (fermented fish.) Somtam Thai omits the balak and adds peanuts, which I prefer.

"Mai Sai Poo" means hold the crab. "Mai Pom Chulot" is "no MSG." The somtam beginner should say, " mai phet" meaning "not spicy." I like to order "phet mai mak" or "not too spicy." Only a serious masochist should say "phet gadai" and should not then whine about the fiery pain that the true somtam addict craves.

Hot or not, somtam blends soft with crisp and has an intense but surprisingly balanced flavor that is sweet, salty, sour and bitter in every bite.

Robert Orson writes for: Easy Chiang Mai http://www.easy-chiangmai.com

The Halfway Mark

I haven't blogged about my training in the last week much, if anybody has noticed.

I've now been here for 50% of my stay, almost, meaning that I've been here about six weeks......

I've been thinking a lot about my training and my goals, and I've come up with a new outlook.

I've basically had to; about 2 1/2 weeks ago the weather started to change, and at some point, so did my sleep pattern. My old arch nemesis, insomnia, came back to pay me a visit.

I've always dealt with sleep issues. Here, for sleep issues, they give you either Valium or Xanax, neither of which is preferable. I found some extremely weak muscle relaxants I primarily took after sampling the others, but I hate taking anything - it always seems to have a negative effect in some way.....

When I train on no sleep or too little sleep, I almost always hurt myself, and I've seen too many people hurt themselves with one wrong lift of the weight or one bad kick that I don't want to have it happen to me.

In a nutshell, though, it's hard to say "I'm gonna" and "This is my new plan that I'm going to stick to" when you don't know if you are going to sleep that night, or for two nights in a row, etc. And then you feel like a failure, which is even worse.

For three nights last week alone I didn't sleep at all. It was a nightmare (no pun intended). Since this Friday I've only slept about 4 - 5 hours a night, and last night, only 2.5. I won't train on zero sleep, but I am still training at least once a day (the afternoon), but the last 3 days have been very hard, complete with dizzyness and total fatigue. I'm eating like a pro again, after a week of playing around due to hormones (LOL, sorry), and it feels great, like I'm "home" again.

It doesn't help that there is something going around the gym, and my neighbors had it. I don't seem to "get" get what everybody else gets, but I will get a symptom or two (knock on wood). My eyes were messed up for about 2 days, for example. And I have felt wiped, of course, but then again - as you well know by now - I'm not sleeping. When I think I might be susceptible to something going around, I generally will start loading up on garlic, white onion, cayenne pepper, water and young coconuts, and I just don't get anything too bad........ Works like a charm!

So, even though in spirit I want to be at every single training session, I'd be a fool to in my condition half the time at 7am, etc. But here's what I've realized in the last week: right now my goals are fitness. I LOVE Muay Thai, and I want to spar more and know the Wai Kru....eventually. But for right now, especially considering where I've been and what my goals are, I'm okay with not doing every single thing. I want to work on my technique as much as possible, as well as my fitness. The rest will come in time, I don't have to master it all TODAY, especially because I don't have a desire to fight for a very, very long time (if at all). I love the self-defense and the daily challenge it is, and the workout I get doing pads and training. Plus, it appears I'll be able to come back soon and/or continue with Muay Thai, so all in good time - not that I am using that as a reason to "slack".

But the Muay Thai, even twice a day, is not enough for weight loss. Especially when dealing with stubborn, "stored" fat. Personally, I've gained back a couple of the kilos of what I've lost due to hormones, but that actually is going to "help me" with my Biggest Loser contest, so I suppose it's alright, LOL! As a woman, I can just expect that to happen no matter what country I'm in and what exercise or diet I'm doing, I reckon. But due to the chronic but sporadic insomnia, I've stopped training twice a day and stopped running in the mornings.

I pretty much only want to be doing these things, too, which is what is really upsetting. Tonight I am trying a new sleeping aid and I am going to start eating even lighter (but still sensibly). The weather is still transitioning, but I'm adjusting to by now and we've had some relief due to the rains.

My goals now at the 50% mark are to OBVIOUSLY get as good a grip as possible on my sleep, and to add more cardio and weight-training to my routine. I love doing two trainings a day, but even one, as long as I'm getting a lot of cardio and weight-training, is sufficient. Still, ideally, I can do all of the above.

My fitness has come along enough that I can make the five rounds with the trainer (even Fin, the greatest kick-nazi around, and so fun you won't realize you're doing them....well, almost) and my form is improving daily - especially with guidance from fighters like Lindsay. I'm proud of that; even if my weight hasn't changed TONS in six weeks, I've missed a little time here and there and I'm building muscle and endurance. My fitness has improved still (as has my Muay Thai, obviously), but I miss the intensity of what I was doing before, honestly, and the faster results.

You can do a LOT in six weeks, and it at least feels like I am entering a very good place right now after this temporary hurdle - especially with our contest going on. I'm trying out a new antihistimine-type sleep aid, my hormones should be balancing out soon (training in Thailand really threw them for their money), and I'm looking forward to my first big night of sleep in about a week, roughly. If all goes well, I'll be up and at 'em in no time.

For cardio I plan on hiking on a treadmill, at a very steep incline. And maybe going for a walk/run outside, again, at another time. I miss that. The weight training won't be super involved; doing squats, lunges, more intense ab work, and some arm exercises should do the trick. If Lindsay's up for it, I'll do it as personal training with her. But I'll have to check her schedule and availability.

I'm excited to rock it by doing all I can do in a day versus focusing on what I couldn't do for reasons that feel out of my control. I'm proud of what I've accomplished, and I can still get a ton accomplished in six weeks, my kick alone has improved a million times over since my arrival, big time!

My Heart Goes Out To Jennifer Hudson

Wow.

You know, I cannot help but be floored by the bits and pieces of what's going on with her life that are featured on the Yahoo or Google news pages, etc., when I'm logging in and stuff.

I never watched American Idol, I didn't know who she was. In recent years I came to like what I knew of her for a number of reasons....

I love that she is from Chicago, too, for starters. A south sider. She's a real person, and down to earth. This is very apparent about her.

When I heard she beat out Beyonce for an Oscar, hell-o! Awesome. And good for her. I know Halle Berry was like the "first black woman" to win an Oscar (sadly enough), but let's face it, Halle Berry is or looks mixed at best. Of course she has totally white features -- not that that should matter, but to chalk it up as a giant win for "Africa" was a bit over the top in my opinion. Plus, Beyonce is just such an annoying princess, ug! Did you all know her dad chalked the Oscars up as "racist", saying that's why she didn't win, when she lost to a black woman that made his bleached out, fake blue-eyed daughter look white, plus like 2 other blacks won. PRICELESS!

After that, I heard a kickass story. I heard that Jennifer Hudson was offered a role in a movie for three million dollars and turned it down because it featured gratuitous nudity of another female. She didn't even want to be associated with it, said she was a "role model". Could she be any cooler? She has class, man.

So, she also helps put more curves in the media. She's gorgeous and curvaceous...and looks healthy. I read she was working with a trainer and was like a curvy size twelve or something now. Maybe 10. I'm big-boned like her and love it, and GOOD FOR HER for loving herself in America's wacked out culture. She knows she looks good, and is a positive example for women everywhere.

And now her mother (she didn't have a father, or he died when she was young I think; I don't really study her, this blog entry summarizes all my random knowledge about her), her brother and now it appears her 7-year old nephew are all murdered in cold blood, at the same time. If somebody so much as touched my nephew, I'd have to be committed.

I mean, my heart just goes out to her right now. Absolutely. How they are coping is beyond me, and I'm glad to hear she has a strong church she's been a part of her whole life (even though I'm not religious at all) and to know that she has faith. Because if there is ever a time in life that it will get you through something, this would be it.

Mindfulness

MINDFULNESS is another word for awareness.

It may be called "bare attention" or "wise attention".

Ellen Langer

Mindfulness is concentrated awareness of one's thoughts, actions or motivations. After my training with Lindsey this morning, I realize how much I need to be focused only on myself and every movement while I train.

It's easy to just go through the motions, shadow boxing or on the bags. Even during pad work, you aren't stopped about every last detail of your workout and can escape weeks of training, even months, without being corrected on some seriously bad habits.

I was sweating so much more when I was fully focusing on my hips, my footwork, making the correct motion, etc. with Lindsey today. I felt it more in my abs, my arms, you name it and I felt it more there.


I see how much work I have to do, and - more importantly - how to do it. When doing shadow boxing or working on the bags, it's easy just to kind of "hit away" (or, in the case of shadow, "pretend-hit away") while thinking of something entirely different or just passing time until you get in the ring. NOW I know that I should be focusing on every aspect of every punch, jab, uppercut, hook, kick, knee, and elbow (although even Lindsey admitted that my elbows were really good.....they are my favorite, after all, LOL!) ESPECIALLY MY FOOTWORK, which seems to be my biggest obstacle right now.

I've got my work cut out for me. I paid for a VIP with Lindsey on Monday to go over it all again, so I can continue practicing my good habits while she's gone (note: she leaves for Australia for 10 days soon).

I'm the Ace Of Spades Today

I already know what you are going to think about this, but I'm telling you, it is eerie how accurate these are, and not just because I "want them to be accurate", etc. My badass friend Kelly turned me on to this system of astrology called "Destiny Cards", and I find it to be wicked accurate. My life card is the 8 of Hearts, but each day you are a different card, and different cards influence your year, etc. Plus there are 52 day cycles you go through as the year proceeds, etc.

Here's a brief explanation from their website, although it's far more in-debth than this:

Each birthday of the year is governed by one of the 53 playing cards (52 plus the Joker). These cards represent personality archetypes, symbols of our personal expression that reflect with amazing accuracy what the important elements of our life will be like. When you study the meaning and significance of your Birth Card, you will have some invaluable knowledge about yourself. You will understand what your natural gifts really are, what sorts of work will bring the most satisfaction, how you interact with others in personal relationships, what are the biggest challenges you are facing this lifetime, and how you can get the most from your life by using the energies that come most easily and naturally to you.

But, beyond self understanding, the Book of Destiny also has an uncannily accurate record of your entire life. Each year of your life is divided up into seven, 52-day time periods. Each period will be governed by anywhere from two to eight cards which will accurately reflect what will happen to you during that time period. This system has been called the most accurate one ever discovered and everyone who has learned to use it, which takes about 2 hours, is amazed at what they discover.

Destiny versus Free Will
All the cards for your entire life are in the book. They are fixed and unchangeable. However, each card has both high and low manisfestations. Those whose lives are successful and happy have accessed the higher levels of expression for their cards. Once you know what your cards are, and the possible modes for expressing them, you are challenged to transform your life into its highest expression. This is where your will makes a definite difference.

How you can learn to read the Book of Destiny for yourself:
This ancient system has been revived just in the past 5 years, being relatively unknown since its first introduction to the world in 1894. After years of studying the system and using it to give personal readings to many individuals, Robert Camp wrote books describing step by step how to access the information. His first book is called The Cards of Your Destiny. This book leads you step by step through the process of doing yearly, monthly and weekly readings from the Book of Destiny. Everything you need is in the book including all of the Yearly Spreads of Cards for each of the Birth Cards and the complete meanings of all the various cards in the 10 different positions that they can occupy in your Yearly Spreads. With this book, you will be doing your first reading in a matter of an hour or two.

Robert's second book, Love Cards, gives you all the information that his first book didn't cover. It gives you a detailed description of each of the 52 Birth Cards and the Joker. It tells you how people of these cards behave, what their karmic patterns are, their strengths and weaknesses and how they act in personal relationships. But it goes beyond this to present you with a quick and highly accurate method of doing compatibility readings between any two people. You can look up your card and compare it with anyone you have ever met and know exactly how the two of you relate, or would relate, in an intimate relationship. This book is 340 pages long and is full of interesting and useful information that will get you looking up everyone you know.

Like I thought this was interesting. I don't check these every day, but this is today's card, which would directly support the "breakthrough" I made today, psychologically.

My personal card for today is the Ace of Clubs.

The Basic Meaning of the Ace of Clubs
The Ace of Clubs means a strong desire for knowledge of some kind or the birth of a new idea, plan, or way of communicating with the world around you. This could also mean a desire for some specific information, for an education, or to pursue some new plans you make. The Ace of Clubs always means a new beginning of some sort. This could be a new job idea or just embarking on a new way of thinking and communicating with others. The exact nature of the beginning will depend on the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time, but in general, this is a good time to plan to start something new.

Seriously, you can go to http://www.7thunders.com/ and do free readings yourself. I haven't bought the books yet because I just use Kelly's, but I definitely want to pick them up. They are worthwhile!

My 52-Day Cycle Right Now

So, like this is what I'm talking about, right?

My card for this current 52 day period, which began like almost right when I got to Thailand and ends right when I'm leaving (oddly enough), is the Eight Of Clubs.

The Basic Meaning of the Eight of Clubs
The Eight of Clubs is the card of mental power, the ability to focus one's mind on a goal or objective and see it through to a successful conclusion. This power is usually applied to some mental or educational task. It bestows the power to overcome all problems by focusing one's thoughts and it usually occurs when there is something that we need to learn or accomplish on the mental level. The Eight of Clubs is one of the three, 'fixed' cards. When it appears, we have the opportunity to fix our mind on certain goals and objectives. It is the card of focus of the mind. Out of that focus and concentration, success is assured.

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining!

My friend Chia-Chi emailed me about my sparring catastrophe and said I should "ask the trainers how to defeat a quicker opponent", then reminded me that I have strength and power on my side, no matter what.

That did get me to thinking that the trainer (whom I adore) that was monitoring my sparring session should have been coaching me, giving us each suggestions on how to handle each other, etc., instead of just watching.

But okay, enough of all that. At lunch I found out GREAT NEWS: Lindsey, one of our pro fighters from Canada, is going to start doing VIP sessions! Just the other day Lindsey in five minutes showed me what I was doing wrong with my punch. I can't lie, I need her to show me again, but I could feel the difference immediately.

That means I get to train with another girl who is of similar build, strengths and weaknesses, even though she's really fit and I'm not. Our trainers speak English well enough, but they are also men, so they have more upper than lower body strength, and they are professional muay thai fighters who have been doing this since they were 5 or so. They are quick as hell. With my build, I'm never going to be Speedy Gonzales, but I am an Amazon, and certainly that must stand for something.

Lindsey speaks my language, is an excellent communicator to boot, professionally fights and is even a Muay Thai instructor at home in Canada. We get on famously and I'm looking forward to the sessions already. At lunch I asked her how she defeats opponents who are quicker than her (which she says they all are), and she laughed and said she honestly just uses her strength to pound them; if they are kicking at her she just covers up and walks right into it and plows them.

THIS is the kind of information I'm looking for, I mean, these are the questions I need answered in terms of how to put it all together. So I'm sooooo glad for this morning, ultimately.

Sometimes what looks like an obstacle is really an opportunity.

Reality Check

I made it to training this morning, which I'm happy for, but it was really, really hard for me. Not to get up, but to spar.

I'm slow. And It's hard not to compare yourself to others, period. I stink at it and have a tough time putting it all together. I've never been very mechanical as a person, and have been much more of a thinker. But instead of going on about it and how even me slow today is a lot faster than me at any point in the last few years, I'm just going to commit to going to training 2x a day, no matter what, and then doing whatever other training I want in the meantime.

Monday starts my 4-week challenge, and I can't wait. I just haven't been happy in the last week because I'm not doing enough. The weather changed, my sleep got messed up, more and more people were partying outside my room later and later at night........and what a ricochet effect it all had on me.

Plus, I'm very hormonal right now. Like as in a "I read the poem Footprints this morning, online, and got all choked up" kind of hormonal. I have cramps and just want to cry really bad! I almost did this morning, nothing I was doing was right. Nothing. Everything I did got corrected. Everything. I remember our fighter Lindsey telling me she's had sessions where she just cried afterwards, and now I understand the feeling. However, I got what I deserved for having not been training recently.

I can't NOT go to a session because I don't like doing what we are learning that day. I've kind of stayed within my comfort zones the last couple of weeks, seeing as how new this is to me it's all a bit uncomfortable. But honestly, this morning sparring it really showed. I can do the moves individually, but putting it allll together challenges me in a way that I'm not used to at all, especially since my coordination has been under attack for the last decade or so. And it was enough to wake me up.

I wonder if I also have a hard time with just hitting on people a bit. I thought that it might be therapuetic, and I'm glad for the self-defense, but growing up I was always against stuff like boxing as a "sport" because it's so violent. And now here I am, LOL! Never say never, and I do love the aggressiveness of Muay Thai, but I do feel it's possible that that is a an obstacle in my presence. Not sure if it's due to the girl or the Gandhi in me, but yeah, while I'm okay with being hit and it even hurting, I'm still learning to feel comfortable hitting actual people. I always had a lot of "fight" in me, but towards issues and stuff. And my weapon is my pen or my mouth. Using or even relying on my body, which I'm used to just numbing or having FAIL ME, is quite another world for me. THAT is the reality I'm facing right now. Then again, I may be totally fine with beating on others and it's just an issue of skills and speed.

Ultimately, I realize that I'm not proud of this but my tendency - like many others - is to avoid what I don't like, even if it will make me a better person or fighter. Or even to quit. This comes easy to nobody (least of all me, but still). Yes, I dare say that right now I'm dealing with the stress of wanting to quit but of course not wanting to quit, which is being heavily influenced by my hormones right now, so I don't want to give it any attention. Especially since I LOVE Thailand, I LOVE Muay Thai, and I LOVE my trainers. I just don't love MYSELF too much right now because I seem to be getting in my own way all week! None of this is easy to admit, but it feels good to be getting to the root of the problem. Confuscious said, "It doesn't matter how slow you go, just don't stop". And Confuscious is right. I've been starting and stopping, starting and stopping. And doing okay for myself until this past week, but still, I need to make it to every session, regardless. And will. It's what I'm here to do.

A lot of the people around me are designing their "own" workout plans and coming up with "better" ways to get fit in the tropics; some of them are only doing one training session a day, skipping entire days, or are incorporating other stuff (which isn't a bad idea), etc. Others are injured, which is quite easy to do here. Bob's back is still out, Viola sprained her ankle in her first day or two; that is the flipside of forcing yourself to train when you are tired, and the beginning of why I took some time off: training on zero sleep is NOT wise to do, so I automatically missed three days off the bat. Then you take a sleep-aid and it has the opposite effect where it's harder to wake up. It's a fine line between pushing yourself and forcing yourself.

I wish I could afford the VIP lessons. They are only $15 each, but that's $150 for just two weeks, which is a lot of money for me right now. If I'm living on my nutrition shakes next month, I may just DO IT for two weeks, though. This month I really, really, really want to improve. I'll be at every session for two weeks, then VIP the last two weeks of the month if I keep my promise to myself. Or, rather, WHEN I keep my promise to myself.

For right now the plan is that I'm eating right, training, hitting the beach or pool Saturday afternoon and - to be honest - am going out all night Saturday in Patong, and I cannot wait. If ANYBODY needs a drink this weekend, it's Me! It'll feel good knowing that I'll be past all the bullshit with myself and ready to just train hard, with a competition to keep me motivated to boot!

I Just Cannot Eat Like Everybody Else

That is what it basically comes down to, kids. I mean, anybody that comes to Thailand, even just to party, generally loses weight. That is just common knowledge and is due to the lack of fast food and so many preservatives, even if they are eating whatever the hell they want.

I'm one of the only vegans in Phuket, I swear, and it's a place that is surprisingly very meat-heavy in diet. (I've heard other places in Thailand were more vegetarian-friendly, probably poorer areas, honestly). Truthfully, even if you AREN'T vegan, it's a good place to maybe eat more vegan considering the fact that most meat sits out under the sun...in the tropics...for hours, before people buy it. That's just not good, and why most countries have laws surrounding that kind of thing.

If I go out, I can get away with fruit, a salad, sauteed vegetables or Som Tam, a wickedly good spicy raw green papaya salad. But that's about it.

Whenever I even eat vegan (therefore healthier, easier digestable) versions of what EVERYBODY ELSE is eating, my body reacts. I stop sleeping, I'm lethargic, I don't want to train, my body feels hotter and slower, my blood sugar goes haywire and I just crave bad stuff all day, I get so bloated it messes with my head, causing me to truly think I've gained 50lbs in like 3 days, which is how it feels. And I'm just talking about rice and noodle dishes, people, sometimes (if I'm lucky) with some tofu in it. With like a coconut-curry sauce, etc. You know, good stuff!

It's like I'm ALLERGIC to it, I swear. I know it's some kind of "blessing in disguise", because then I can only put optimal nutrition in my body (without repercussion, that is), but it certainly doesn't feel like it all the time, let me tell you. I just have to remember that my body hasn't been well in a long time, and it's still working hard to catch up, health-wise, as well as conquer Candida. After all, there is only one dis-ease, called Toxemia. It just has many names and faces. My digestion is clearly compromised still. Either that or highly selective, LOL!

I don't know when or if I'll ever be able to eat like other people; especially when what makes them healthier makes me feel like total crap and affects every area of my being. Then again, I've done a million cleanses and although I am far from perfect in terms ot toxicity, perhaps I'm more cleaned out than I think. If a lot of these other people KNEW how good and how much stronger you feel while juice-fasting, or how much MORE energy you have on blended foods, maybe their bodies would remind THEM, too, when they ate less than perfect. In the meantime, it's just letting them know that less toxins make you feel better, so they are being rewarded when they eat a big Thai meal. I however am being punished, LOL! At least that's how it feels.

It's not that I can "never" have that stuff, I just have to be very careful with it, and it's extremely frustrating. I know now that if today is my first day "eating right", I won't feel okay for about 2 more days. HOW LAME, RIGHT?

I know that I do best on blended foods and liquids, always have and always will. It is just simple science that the more nutrient and mineral dense and more assimilable /bioavailable your food is, the better you will feel, the more energy you will have and the healthier you will be.

Honestly, I just wish I had some Udo's Oils here. I cannot wait to get on them this winter when I'm in the states again!

Most people dig their graves with a fork and a spoon.

Anonymous

How To Fail A Test With Dignity (Humor)

This has nothing to do with Thai boxing and is totally off topic, but I think they are hilarious. The first one had me crying. Enjoy!

The Bar Down The Road

There is a huge reggae bar down by Nai Harn Beach, but there's also a tiny reggae-ish bar down the road from us here, just past the market on the opposite side. It always seemed empty, though. Every time I ran by, I'd hear a voice calling me to "Stop in!", but like I'm really going to quit my jog to go for a beer, right?

Anyways, one day I FINALLY decided to follow the voice, and am glad I did! This place is so cool on the inside, small but killer! And "Aek", pronounced "Ache", is soooo cool! We sat and talked, and since then I've been in like 3 - 4 times, just to say hi.

The rich people in the villas right next to it are mainly who frequent it (and even they are very, very nice and friendly), but he's always playing AC/DC, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Slits, reggae, and so much more. Very good taste in music, and a pretty decent handle on the English language (even though he says he doesn't). Aek says he fought muay thai when he was a kid, but he quit because "it hurt", LOL! I could not argue with him there........

Anyways, it's nice to get away a bit to where nobody from the gym ever goes (for some reason). Last night I stopped in after the birthday party, where I was trying to aid my digestion by taking a stroll.

A few of Aek's friends were there that I met last time (they live in Patong; one owns a reggae bar there), and we had a great conversation on a whole range of topics. A super nice time, plus he loaned me an umbrella so I didn't have to walk home in the rain that finally came.

Here's some photos of Aek, his friends, and the bar. As you can see, it's very open, like a hut, like most restaurants and bars here in Thailand are. Also, Aek has some pretty wicked tattoos........

P.S. I don't even know the name of this place, LOL!

Pooh's Birthday Party!

Last night I was going on a short walk down our street to get some fresh air and think about some things. As I walked by the tiny strip mall about 100 yards down the road that we allllll frequent, I was called upon to "come to the birthday party".

The owners of this strip mall are all related, more or less, and it consists of a market, an internet cafe, a small shop, a massage parlor, a tourist agency/visa run/bike rental/taxi service "shop" and, at the very end, a phenomenal restaurant called "The Cashew Nut" that most of us eat at.

Everybody at this strip mall is very supportive of the gym as well, and is extremely outgoing and friendly. They are always waving hello, driving us places, helping us with any Thailand questions/issues, and so forth. They even come to the fights sometimes to cheer our gym on. We are all pretty familiar with them and even their kids, and we all see "Pooh", the four year old boy, playing outside and around the shops like daily. But HOW WONDERFUL for them to invite like EVERYBODY to his birthday party! I was just blown away by their generosity, although remembering where I was, it shouldn't have been that surprising to me. I mean, every day when I run or walk by them I am met with a ton of smiles and everybody yelling "Hi Mary!" It's just awesome.

I was hungry and happily pulled up a chair and sat down. Very shortly, more and more gym members and Thais showed up. There was soooo much food it was ridiculous!

Oddly enough, this outstanding show of warmth and generosity reminds me of the few times I've spend on the west and way south sides of Chicago, where "supposedly" white people are NOT supposed to go. Granted, I was always there with musicians I knew, but still, even they didn't love going there, lol! Still, whenever I did show up, there was no cover charge and a free buffet, right in the ghetto. Any white club would charge you to walk in the door, then for every bite you took. But instead I had guests and employees introducing themselves and asking me if they could get me a plate, etc. It seems SOMEtimes, not always, that the less people have, the more generous they can be --- although Nui and the others at this strip mall definitely do alright, especially for Thailand.

Although it was getting darker, here's a picture of "the festivities"!

Bob serving up free ice cream!

Deng, one of our trainers, insisted on posing for a shot.

He was just driving by, going home, and decided to stop in, too!

Getting their grub on...........

Gemma from London, who just arrived this week!

Coolio, living the life, LOL!

This is NUI, who is a bundle of energy and kindness!

She speaks English very well and is the sweetest thing ever.

Some of the Thais sat inside, on the floor.

Pooh and some of his loot! SO HAPPY!

Two of the local massage therapists that work at Su's Massage.

THEY ARE THE BEST, and are sooo friendly!

Mr. Clean - I mean Bob - and "the family". I wish I knew more names and who is related, but on the left

is the doll who ushered me in & runs one of the stores,

then Bob and Nui (on the right).

We all tease Bob because he's soooo

"family-oriented" that he is always down there hanging out with "his Thai family".

Oddly enough, I generally don't pet the dogs here. They are all half-pets,

but generally half (or "more than half") strays. Many seem neglected, but not this

friendly guy, clearly hoping to score some leftovers, lol!

Some things are UNIVERSAL . . . . . . . .

Then he wiped his face with his hands and wiped his hands on his 12 year old sister's back, and she swatted him on the behind. Ah, siblings!

WHAT A RANDOM, FUN TIME!

The Biggest Loser

Okay, Bob has four weeks left. He asked me tonight if I wanted to do a Biggest Loser competition with him and a few other people at the gym over the course of the month. I mentioned doing something like that a bit ago, so I am TOTALLY in. We will each put in about 200 baht ($7) and at the end, the winner takes all - which could be so much as 1000 baht. What a fun challenge! I'll be doing my Vega Nutrition drinks exclusively, pretty much, so between that and getting over this "sleep hurdle" and training and running more, plus doing some circuit training, I am ready to give it my best! FUN!

Afternoon Training

I didn't go this afternoon, but I'll be at training the rest of the week. Elena, Tuk's 4-year old daughter (and you can SEE the resemblance), came by my place to "visit" and we ended up going to the gym to take pictures of what a typical training session is like . . . . something I've been meaning to do for awhile. I also got some fun pictures of a lot of my trainers, too!

Generally, training starts with Shadow Boxing, with sit-ups and push-ups in-between rounds. Then a few rounds on the bags, with more of the same between rounds. Then, five rounds with a trainer in the ring and then usually some sort of technique work, like grappling or the Wai Ku --- which is the ceremonial dance you do before a fight.

Buay, pronounced "Boy",19 & a Fighter, is a much-loved trainer at Rawai.

He's sweet and nice as can be, but lethal in the ring. This shot is also of

Phuket's first and only Big Foot sighting, LOL! (Sorry Caspar!)

Ot is an EXCELLENT fighter & trainer, and has a lot of

patience. His VIP sessions are in demand. I did

one with him last week and it was awesome!

Fahd is just great. Here he is in-between rounds,

looking for his other pad . . . It was on the ledge of another ring,

so I fetched it for him.

Yib is excellent as well and usually works with

the big dudes. By "works with" I mean tosses them around . . .

This is one of our gym's youngest fighters,

putting on his gloves. What a DOLL!

Joy ALWAYS lives up to his name; full of smiles and fun,

and yet a seriously great trainer. Here he is chillaxing

in-between rounds with Paula..........He started laughing when

he realized I was taking a shot of this, uh, 'pose'.

Here's Deng, who's phenomenal in the ring and

the loudest trainer of all, hands down. He's also a total

ham when he wants to be, and always makes you do

tons of knees. Ug!

This is Fin, my first trainer here. He's GREAT at

correcting your form. And catching your leg and making you

hop on one foot when your form is off..... LOL!

Fin in action, training . . .

Theng teaching the beginners class. This

is him demonstrating a "right knee".

Here's Bang, the whistleblower. He

coordinates everybody and everything,

yet is also pretty wicked in the ring....

Mondays are "grappling" days. Grappling kind of stinks, honestly!

Bung Yi used to train Tuk. Now he works with our pro fighters

and kids, training them. He's a big dude and can take a beating, so

he's perfect for our fighters to wail on.

The next two shots are of Joy training

Paula from New Zealand. She's been

here for 2 months and leaves this week.

This is Elena, Tuk's 4 year old daughter, carrying

the cup of water I gave her as we walked over to the gym. She just

kind of "showed up" in my house, what a kick in the pants!

She is half-Mexican, half-Thai, and as smart and sassy

as it gets. What a cutie!

Theng teaching the Beginners Class,

usually right along with Fin.

One of our kindest and best trainers, by far, is Bang Man.

Here he is, striking a pose, then the next 2 are of

him in action, training. He's so fast, you can see how well

the blocking is going for his student, LOL!

Lindsay training!

Tuk training Lotta, one of our prize fighters from Sweden.

Lotta is the sweetest, quietest girl........and wicked in the ring!

This is just a sick shot of Yib training someone!

In between bags and rounds in the ring, sometimes there's a bit

of (usually much-appreciated) down time. Here's a crew waiting, "on deck"

to get in the ring. My neighbor Big Matt from Oakland is at the front of the line-up.

In-between rounds on the bags, you do either sit-ups or push-ups,

or - in Caspar's case - squats.

Here's our youngest fighter again. His grandpa was siting right beside me

while I took the picture. His older brother (about 9) trains here too.

Johnny from Norway, who is here to train for a month!

Fin training again, while two smaller fighters suit up.

Fighting Farang

A super cool 17-year old fighter named Hadier posted on the Rawai Message Board that they were looking for somebody to do a review of Rawai Muay Thai Gym for his site, Fighting Farang. ("Farang" means foreigner in Thai). I of course responded saying that I would love to write an honest review of my experience!

Fighting Farang offers a wealth of information for those who are interested in doing what I'm doing: traveling to Thailand as a foreigner to train in a martial arts camp.

Anyways, he emailed me today to let me know he mentioned my blog on his site today. Check me out!

The FLIPPIN Heat!

I almost entitled this post There Is No God.......

Right now I think I finally figured out WHY I am struggling for about the last week: the heat. We've all acknowledged that it has gotten consistently hotter by the day as of about one week ago, and I cannot lie, it's bothering me.

I don't want to get out of bed, get dressed, or pretty much do anything. And it's affecting my sleep, which of course affects my training, which is WHY I keep focusing on my goals in my head but am in a bit of a personal rut.

This morning the power went out for like an hour at 6am. ALL THE FANS WENT OUT. For the record, we each have a fan at the foot of our bed and there is a giant ceiling fan.

When the power went out, we all actually WOKE UP from the sweltering heat. Not good!

I am planning on moving here, so I'm a bit nervous right now, although they say you "adapt".

Anyways, tonight I go to the market to stock up on dragon fruit so I can get on my Vega Nutrition Shakes tomorrow and call it a day. Honestly, it'll be so nice - especially since I am not doing the green smoothies. I think I'll even give up bananas for the next 11 days, too. Eating that light will be a must in this weather, and I look forward to having fresh vegetable juice here because it's all I'll live on, honestly.

So, this weather transition is kind of at the pit of my struggle right now. Mind you, Chicago heat and humidity was awful to me...........

Right now it's transitioning between the "rainy" season and the "hot" season.......so it's kind of awkward. They say that soon it'll be hotter, but it won't be so dang muggy --- at least not as bad. Let's all just hope that that is the truth, because if it's just going to be a lot worse than it is now, I'm second-guessing moving here, although that's the ONLY reason why I'd second guess it so I'm determined to adjust!

Just doing the thin nutrition shakes should help keep the body cooler, though. I can't wait for tomorrow, geeze, because I need some relief during this transition!

It's funny, I was just telling Bob about this issue, and it's funny that HE was just getting ready to tell me that he wants to live in the tropics the rest of his life BECAUSE of the weather....because you CANNOT be fat here. LOL! And he's soooooooo right. I thought of that "benefit" too, for sure. I mean, every extra ounce on your body feels like 50lbs. In the winter is when people generally get lazy and wear tons of clothes so they don't notice all the weight they are packing on! Kind of like elastic waistlines, it's not really our friend even if it seems like a comfort, LOL!

The nice thing about living and working here IS that I could pretty much wear a bathing suit and/or sarong to work, and because it's a gym I can literally hop in a shower OR dump cold water on my head and body, as the fighters do during training (I'd do it, but I didn't bring enough shorts and training clothes to be soaking myself every day). So, it's not like there aren't coping mechanisms. I am just adapting because this is the closest to the equator I have ever lived, and my first time in the tropics. It's definitely motivating, mentally, to get in shape and stay in shape! MORE reason to move here, I reckon, than to not move here, ultimately.

I Heart Pomelos

Okay, so POMELOs are my new favorite fruit here. Lindsay showed them to me since they are lower in sugar and high in fiber. They are pretty big, like about 8" diameter, at least, so they look like a jumbo grapefruit.......I had never seen one or tasted one before (or, quite frankly, heard of it).

They taste like a grapefruit too, but they are not sour, so they are much better in my opinion even though I like grapefruit.

Here's the deal, though: the pithe (white stuff) in them is like superstrong. I couldn't even peel it. So I bought one already peeled, and I could barely pull the thing apart, I had to use a knife!? Talk about fibrous!

The best way to buy a pomelo in Thailand, therefore, is pre-peeled and pre-sectioned, as shown in the picture below. Fortunately, it is not that difficult to find that way. Then all you have to do is rip into it and devour it. It's sooooooooo good, filling, and the best snack ever. I really want to WATCH one of the market people when they do peel it and cut it up, some day, because I canNOT figure it out, LOL! This fruit is TOUGH!

P.S. I worked out twice yesterday, once as a personal training session with Lindsay, and WHOAH am I sore from all the squats and lunges and abs. I'm so glad I did it since I won't be able to afford any VIP sessions to work on my technique after all except maybe as a very occasional treat......We did it as circuit training, and I am glad it's simple and powerful enough that I can stick with it.

New Plan - Vega Nutrition Shakes

Because I'm looking to really simplify right now and the green smoothie production is making a mess, I'm going to be selfish right now - at least until Danny comes back - and instead just do my VEGA NUTRITION SHAKES, which are chock-full of absolutely superior nutrition. I showed them to a naturpath who was training here and she was extremely impressed with the quality and thoroughness of their formula.

I love how they taste and they are far simpler to just mix with water and maybe a dragon fruit - my favorite way to drink them. So......Monday I start on Vega Nutrition Shakes and boy do I feel a lot better about it. I ADORE green smoothies and people are buying them, but I don't have the right set-up, etc., and the fridge space issue is taxing. This way I can just stock up on dragon fruit or pineapple, and blend. Two second job, easy clean-up, no fridge space........done deal!

To meet my own short-term fitness goals, I'm simplifying and just focusing on getting the simplest and best nutrition into ME as well as working on my writing in the meantime, because yes, I was just hired on to design another raw foods chef certification course. Very exciting stuff, and a great project to work on, for sure! This feels like the best decision to make, absolutely.

My goals now are not to cater to "raw-foodists" or even to convince people they need to be on an all raw food diet. My goal is to assist regular people, no matter where they are at, with some easy and tasty ways to add some healthy raw food to their diet. Because of this shift in my intent, I've noticed enormous changes in what I'm attracting, and I couldn't be more excited about the results! People are also far more responsive as well. After all, I have not mastered anything. Nobody I know has. So how can I preach? People generally want the knowledge, without the dogma and stricture.

Determined

Today is Friday, October 17th. (In Thailand, at least). I have exactly two weeks until Halloween, and I intend to meet some pretty important goals by then.

Today Bob hurt his back, so he sold me his V.I.P. session (one-on-one for an hour) with Dang for 250 baht. I would have done afternoon training today since I finally slept, but instead I did the VIP. Why not? Besides, Dang is a fun trainer......

I just felt awful throughout it. I don't know if it's just a hangover from eating shittier than I'm used to the last few days or what, and sometimes the language barrier doesn't help, but I felt and fought like total garbage, which makes me just want to give up altogether when I'm feeling whiney like I am now.

Tomorrow I am going to workout with Lindsey, a good friend and pro-fighter here, and I think I decided to do V.I.P. training for the next 2 weeks to help me feel more confident as well as meet my goals. I think I'm going to work with Ot and Bang Man for those two weeks, which I'm really excited about because they are patient and correct you on everything. I'll still do my regular training (unlike this week) and hopefully by Halloween feeling like this will be a thing of the past as I'll be smoothie-fasting, more hydrated (than I've been the last few days), sleeping regularly (makes all the difference!) and running again, etc. It's amazing what 3 days of slacking will do, even if one of them was due to a visa run and the other two are because you're under the weather and not sleeping.....

I really wish I felt better right now, so I'm just going to work on a project. I have so many great things going on in my life right now, but as usual, it doesn't mean A THING if you don't have your health! I know that far too well, quite frankly, which is the reason why I'm here.

By Halloween I'll be at my halfway mark, meaning I will have completed 50% of my visit and therefore should be at about 50% of my goals. Two weeks of training (maybe not twice a day), running, smoothies and VIP training, plus some weight lifting ought to change SOMEthing, right?

You can achieve anything you want in life

if you have the courage to dream it,

the intelligence to make a realistic plan,

and the will to see that plan through to the end.

Sidney A. Friedman

Interesting Update:

Tonight I went for a stroll, listening to some music. (I seem to be hooked on "American Badass" by Kid Rock these days-?!) and saw a pretty bad motor vehicle accident - 2 scooters/motorbikes strewn across the street with a crowd of people surrounding 2 people laying down on the ground. Then the ambulances pulled up. I have no idea if the drivers were wearing helmets, many don't. Still, it was quite sobering and made me appreciative of what I DO have, even if it's not where I want to be. Sometimes God gives us reality checks. . . . .

I was just thinking a lot about how as long as I know I'm doing my best, I'm okay with things being as they are. But if I know I'm not pushing myself to my limits and doing my best, I do get down on myself a bit. I'm off to bed early tonight, and train with Lindsey tomorrow, Saturday. I made it all raw and on all smoothies today, so tomorrow should be a better day.

Balance (or "Goals, Revisited")

Sigh. Okay, so this week got away from me. I worked out sooo much this weekend and neglected going out, thinking I was doing the "right thing". Instead I ran myself down, and didn't get a lot of sleep Sunday night but pushed myself all day Monday, regardless. Then Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights I didn't sleep. Monday night I ALSO vowed to wake up and green smoothie fast with no greens in the house. Doh!

Apparently I was so busy making smoothies for everybody else, I didn't factor myself into the game. What I was doing was working, but I decided to up the ante, and as a result ate some fried food Monday night. That was the beginning of the insomnia and worse, and here I am 72 hours later feeling awful and having not trained at all all week (although today was a visa run to Burma for 12 hours, so I didn't have a choice).

Fortunately, it's a lesson learned, and while I FEEL awful I certainly know I didn't reverse the progress I have made. As well, Gemma is a new girl here who has been reading my blog and is interested in detoxing. She totally rocks and knew who I was when I, all tired, introduced myself and welcomed her. She is here for three weeks and said she'd green smoothie fast as well, just from our short conversation. I'm going to start making them and stocking them in the muay thai bar, just collecting my money at the end of the day or so, so it's easier on me and my customers. I'm just PUMPED to get focused again.

Every time I stray off the path it is more experience and a lesson learned. I simply cannot eat like other people can and get away with it, it's like I'm allergic. I know it's a blessing in disguise, but GEEZE! Starting tomorrow, I have 2 weeks until Halloween. I plan on green smoothie fasting, doing my muay thai training (of course! I miss it a lot!) and upping the abs and weight lifting with Lindsey, doing some personal training. I CAN'T WAIT! I know I can still reach my goals, and am excited to do so and to make the way I've felt the last three days a thing of the past, honestly! I can wait until Halloween to party, especially when you're partying in Patong so it's like exponential, LOL!

Life is good, overall, and always slightly (to majorly, lol) humbling. I've got to watch myself like a hawk, it's just how I have to be. I just want to be in balance again and know that green smoothie fasting will get me there, now that I'm getting organized with it (almost every day it's someone new who wants them; keeping up has been a bit tricky - not that I'm complaining!)

Here's to a productive weekend!

Cheers!

Goals & Green Smoothie Fasting

A Green Smoothie . . . . .

By mid-week, a lot of people were asking me how much I had lost since I got here since it is starting to be noticeable. I didn't want to get weighed too much because muscle weighs more than fat, and I can tell I'm building a lot of muscle, too. Saturday morning I didn't train but did throw on some clothes and ran over to have a trainer weigh me, finally.

So far I've lost 4.7 kg/10.3 lbs in 21 days, when I didn't even make "all" the sessions and I am also building a lot of muscle, which - like I said - weighs more than fat, so you can "look" a lot different and be a lot fitter without losing any weight, or sometimes gaining weight. So....that is remarkable!

One of the things I did is this past week I started waking up early and going on a 2.7 mile walk/run at 5:30 in the morning as well as in the afternoon, too. It's perfect because the route is wonderful and simple, plus I can listen to my music, and walking/running and listening to my headphones has always been more of a personal meditation for me, something I miss if I am not doing. Lately it's AC/DC, Juliette & The Licks, The Donnas and some hip-hop. By the time morning training is done I've worked out about roughly 3 hours already that day.

This week my goal is to lose about 2.3 kilos, or roughly 5 lbs. That's a hefty goal, but I plan on doing it by smoothie fasting, the majority of the smoothies being green smoothies. My goal is to, by Halloween, which is exactly another 3 weeks away (I've only been here 3 weeks), to lose 4.3 kilos, or 9.5lbs. This would put me ahead of where I thought I'd be, goal-wise, but I see how much you step it up as you get fit around here, and how easy it is to get in shape simply by living in the tropics and being so close to such fresh, natural foods, so at only 50% into my visit, I'll be at 2/3rds of my goal! And here I was "worried" that I wouldn't have enough time! Danny (the internet manager and co-owner) says I will easily surpass my goals, of course, if I keep it up --- which is extra exciting!

Especially because I am eating like a CHAMP: fresh fruit and vegetables, hot spicy seasonings, tons of water, green smoothies, Vega nutrition/protein shakes and young coconuts make up the majority of my diet, and it is very fulfilling as you don't even want to eat that much in the tropics. In fact, others here are interested in green smoothies and green smoothie fasting, even, so I may have a group going pretty soon. Everybody that tries them is surprised by how much they like them and how filling they are. The benefits are outrageous, the taste is great, and they are super satisfying and filling. This week I want to up my sit-ups, too!

My goals are important to me, so I did not go out dancing this weekend in Patong. However, I do see the importance of going out, so I will make a point of going out this Saturday night, for sure! Hopefully to celebrate meeting some hard-earned goals!

I'm pretty pumped about this upcoming week, guys! I love a good challenge, it keeps me on track - and this one is totally attainable and will be enjoyable. I mean, last week I actually napped in-between work-out sessions I was working out so much. That's the way it should be, especially in this heat (and it's not even summer yet!) Wish me luck!

A green smoothie, pre-blended.

This one is Mango, Parsley, Leafy Greens and Bananas!

Mmmmmm!

Update:

My straight fasting will begin on Tuesday (tomorrow) due to the fact that I don't have any greens, ha! I did make a fruit smoothie, but ended up having some plain fruit and vegetables --- all of which are healthy, but do not equate a fast. Tonight at the outdoor market I will stock up, especially because many others want smoothies, too. Right now Danny and I are brainstorming on how/where to set this up, just for now even.

My New Fighter's 'Do

So, the hair has been an issue. Strands come out and get stuck to my soaking wet arms and legs during training, and then it irritates me to the point of interfering with my training. THAT, and the humidity is causing it to just dread, the other day it took me hours to get through the rats nest, I thought I was going to have to cut it out or shave my head. Wierd! I don't have time, energy or patience for that, so I just end up ripping out too much hair.

I watched a killer muay thai movie last night called CHOCK-DEE, and it was really inspiring. I couldn't wait to get up at 5:30 a.m., before the sun was up, to run (and did). I realized a fighter's got to do what a fighter's got to do, so for now my hair will be in 2 Pocahontus-type braids until I can figure out anything else to do with it. It works. I think i'll remove them every other day to wash it, then rebraid it just to keep it out of trouble. Works for me! And it highlights the lobes, if I do say so myself, LOL!

As well, and this picture soooo doesn't do it justice, I received my first "blow". My upper leg has a huge, hard knot in it that was black within minutes of the hit. I was sparring, and pretty much suck at blocking. This bruise is literally 3-D, and by that I mean I noticed it first showering because I thought it was a bone sticking out. Sniff! Lindsey says the skin will just toughen, but I just think I need to learn how to block better. My reflexes are awful, I just am working on fitness and doing my best and am waiting for it all to come together. I began to get down on myself today, then realized how absurd that is, truthfully, considering all I'm doing! Nobody else judges me here, so I am trying my best not to, too. I hope this heals quickly, but I have a feeling something this nasty is going to stick around a bit! Ugh!

Chia-Chi Left Today

Sniff. Chia-Chi left today, after 3 weeks of training. I'm soooo going to miss him, he became like a brother to me. Fortunately, Chia-Chi lives in San Francisco (where he's returning to start his living as a lawyer at a big firm), which is where I'm flying into. So I'll be changing my train ticket to Oregon so I can spend a day or two with him there. So thankfully it wasn't an awful goodbye.....

This is Chia-Chi modelling his reverse farmer's tan on the Front Porch the other night. Absolutely hilarious!

Overcoming Candida & Why I'm Here

Boldness has genius,

power, and magic in it.

Begin it now.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Some big reasons I am here in Thailand, eating healthy and studying muay thai are to correct my metabolism and get fit, but others are to improve my coordination, reflexes and reverse the muscular degeneration that my body has suffered from years of fatigue, abuse and infection.

My struggle with what I learned was Candida began many many years ago. I had symptoms of Bipolar disease, ADD, Anxiety, Diabetes, Thyroid Disease, MS and more, and nobody could find a thing wrong with me so I was just prescribed mind-numbing and altering drugs that never obviously relieved the symptoms and only made the problem WORSE.

My late teens to twenties were essentially a nightmare until I finally took matters into my own hands, realizing doctors were never going to get to the bottom of this, and started researching my history, habits, symptoms and more. I am so glad people think I'm 22 - 24 in age, because I spent too much time during those years feeling like crap and just wishing a bus would hit me than I care to admit. Just getting out of bed was a struggle, day in and day out, and I forget to remind myself sometimes (when I'm being too hard on myself) that I'm honestly just strong as hell for even still being here, because yes, I felt that bad so often that I didn't feel like sticking around far too many times than I care to admit. Some of my story can be found here.

This health challenge is what lead me to studying raw foods and a whole food vegan diet (er, to the best of my ability), among other effective health modalities. On the journey, I have learned A LOT about health and underlying causes of most "mainstream disease". I am still shocked and amazed at how FEW are aware of things like Candida and it's devastating effects.

According to world-leading, prestigious Johns Hopkins University medical textbooks that have since been edited, candida is always a precursor to Cancer and is always present when Cancer is present. Did you know that by the time cancer can be traced in the body, it has been living in you for 10 years? That 1 out of 3 people get cancer, at least? This is epidemic. People say it is genetic, but 100 years ago, people were not dying of cancer, simply put. Think about it....

Candida is also related to most autoimmune diseases. Check it out: In 1951, when antibiotics were first introduced on the market, anti-yeast drugs were always prescribed with them. A few years later, they stopped doing that. Very shortly thereafter, the first autoimmune disease was introduced......and now there are hundreds of them.

When you read the list of symptoms, you'll see the depression, ADD, chronic fatigue, insomnia, restlessness and other issues that so many complain about and are improperly medicated for listed.

Being here in Thailand is marvelous. I feel my coordination and reflexes coming along every day, and I feel more limber and energetic daily as well. I'm not perfect by a long shot, but things like 95-day juice fasts, multiple colon and liver cleases, anti-candida supplements, rife machines and other healing modalities have certainly aided my healing, and the body is a very forgiving machine.

It is still hard not to compare myself to others here, who maybe have had a less physically stressful life up to this point, but I make efforts to remind myself every day that I am doing phenomenally for myself, and when you see and experience your advancements daily, it's easy to do. Plus, nobody here judges.

I love how much stronger and younger I feel here, as if all the years of feeling 100+ years old and experiencing debilitating symptoms are just washing away. That is why I'm here, and why I knew I HAD to come here, even if I could barely lift my legs my first few days. My family, some friends . . . they don't understand it and weren't sure why I made this seemingly "eccentric" decision. But they also haven't walked in my shoes, and sometimes you just have to buck up and do for yourself, forgetting what others are saying about you.

I'm literally here on my LAST few dollars, and am a pretty poor person, even in Thailand, which is saying a lot for an American! By that I mean that I have under $1,000 spending, food and visa money for the next 9 weeks, but my housing and training are paid for, and I have a plane ticket home, etc. But hey, I'm here, therefore, I feel like the richest person in the world. My recipe book will ideally sell some more copies, since that is my start-up money I'm trying not to touch until when I get home to the states, pennyless, and I have trust in the process that good things are to come for me.

WITH HEALTH, I can achieve anything. Without it, my intelligence, creativity, relationships, career, my attitude, my will.....all of it suffers. I know this alllllll too well. I would say that I only wish I had come here sooner, but we are all always where we are supposed to be at exactly the right time, and my health challenges and experiences have only made me stronger. Still, I'm ready to move on, and am happily doing so.


THE CANDIDA EPIDEMIC: THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OF MOST DIS-EASE
Millions of Americans are suffering from Candida and have no idea. I was one of them, and I was misdiagnosed up the wazoo.


Are YOU or is someone you love one of them?


Just SOME of it's many symptoms are, that many will surely recognize even if they don't recognize the term "Candida" are as follows:


Gas, bloating, indigestion, heartburn or pain in the intestines• Bowel irregularities, constipation or diarrhea or perhaps alternating between both• Food cravings especially for carbohydrates or sweets.• Mood swings, depression or suicidal tendencies• Headaches or migraines• Menstrual problems, PMS or break through bleeding, endometriosis.• Respiratory concerns, asthma frequent bronchial congestion• Skin problems, dry, itchy or hives• Finger or toe nail fungus• Vertigo or balance problems• Joint or muscle pain• Bad breath In spite of good oral hygiene• Allergies…air-born or food• Malabsorption (might be indicated by vertical grooves in fingernails)• Vaginal yeast infections• Itching or redness in body creases• Acne on face, back or body• Cravings for Chocolate, peanuts, pistachios or alcohol• Adrenal or thyroid failure• Hemorrhoids, fissure or rectal bleeding• Insomnia • Chronic fatigue• Feeling cold and shaky• Weight imbalances (over or under in spite of diet)• Poor memory• Puffy, dry or burning eyes• Urinary tract problems (infections or incontinence)• Premature ageing• Chemical sensitivity (especially colognes or fabric dye)• Blood sugar imbalances


If you:

• crave sweets • feel sick all over, wake up tired, etc. • have taken many antibiotics • have seen many physicians and have not found help • developing food allergies


Then your health problems are very possibly yeast connected.....


From The Body Ecology Diet by Donna Gates:

Candida overgrowth is a vicious cycle. Our diets are full of sugars that feed the yeast. In women, pregnancy and the use of birth control pills create hormonal changes that encourage yeast and overgrowth. Antibiotics, found extensively in our food supply and prescribed by doctors, kill not only bad bacteria but also the friendly bacteria that normally inhabit our tissues, so this sets up an environment where yeast can multiply uncontrollably. A normal, strong immune system can keep yeast under control. But when yeast do overgrow, they release toxins, which weaken the immune system. At this point, the weakened immune system can no longer defend against germs, bacteria, and viruses, so these organisms multiply and quickly invade tissues and organs, causing infections. If you take antibiotics to get rid of these infections, the cycle starts all over.

Some of the most important current medical research involves the immune system and diseases related to a weak immune response, such as AIDS, Epstein-Barr, cancer, and other serious conditions. Candida is not a disease in itself; it is a condition indicating an internal imbalance. Its symptoms may mask, overshadow or accompany the presence of other diseases, such as AIDS and cancer. So if your immune system is occupied dealing with candida, it does not have the strength to fight these other critical illnesses. The good news is that candida can be corrected naturally using an anti-yeast diet. This is in fact the ONLY way to correct systemic candida.

A few people still regard candida as a "fad" or a fake disease, but this misunderstanding is starting to clear up. Patients whose recurring symptoms and complaints cannot be resolved by traditionally-trained doctors and specialists often are referred to psychologists for treatment. Yet when these patients begin a yeast-control diet and lifestyle, they respond splendidly, and their symptoms clear up.

Candida grows in your intestines. According to antibody studies done at the Atkins Center, a yeast or fungal infection is involved in more than 80% of all cases of Crohn's and Colitis. When the immune system is weak, candida easily overruns the intestinal tract and the vagina, sinuses and surfaces of the tongue. It also can burrow deeper into various organs. A carpet-like mass will wrap around the spinal cord and the nerves and often accumulates at the base of the brain. It can mass around the heart and the liver and it can affect the reproductive organs even causing endometriosis in women.

Candida grows in your blood and is then called a systemic infection. The fungus (yeast) thrive on your own nutrients (minerals, proteins, and fats). This creates further deficiencies, especially for minerals (iron, selenium, zinc, etc). Without minerals your blood remains in an acidic condition.
The most important organs for creating energy are your adrenals and your thyroid. They both need an ongoing steady supply of minerals. When you are low in minerals you'll have very little energy. Feeling exhausted, you then crave carbohydrates for short-term energy. Trying to keep a level of balance in your bloodstream more minerals are called from various places (bones, teeth) and a vicious cycle develops. Your blood continues to become even more acidic and the yeast infection escalates. Viral infections and cancer grow and expand in this acidic condition.

Candida floods your body with a toxic by-product called acetaldehyde. Acetaldehyde is the compound that produces the symptoms of an alcohol hangover. This serious toxin poisons tissues, is not easily eliminated and accumulates in your brain, spinal cord and muscles. Remember your heart and your intestines are muscles. You can now understand your symptoms of brain fog, muscle weakness and even pain.

From Rob Cooper at www.FormerFatGuy.com:

Candida Yeast is a negative YEAST INFECTION that begins in the digestive system and little by little spreads to other parts of the body. It is a strong, invasive parasite that attaches itself to the intestinal wall and becomes a permanent resident of your internal organs. It is causing numerous health problems and discomfort for over 30 million men and women every day and it is estimated that nearly everyone has or will have a moderate to serious Candida condition eventually in their lives.

It is a major contributing factor to the cause of:

• Chronic Fatigue • Immune Weakness • Allergies • Systemic Degeneration

A Candida yeast cell produces over 75 known toxic substances that negatively poison the human body. These toxins contaminate the tissues where it weakens the immune system, the glands, the kidneys, bladder, lungs, liver and especially the brain and nervous system.

Candida yeast can become so massive and invasive that is enters the FUNGAL form where it provides very long, root-like structures that penetrate the mucous lining of the gastrointestinal wall. This penetration breaks down the protective barrier between the intestinal tract and bloodstream, allowing many foreign and toxic substances to enter and pollute the body systemically.

As a result, proteins and other food wastes that are not completely digested or eliminated can assault the immune system and cause tremendous allergic reactions, fatigue and many other health problems. It also allows the Candida Yeast itself and bacteria to enter the bloodstream, from which it may find its way to other tissues, resulting in far-ranging effects such as soreness of the joints, chest pain, sinus and skin problems, etc.

An autopsy done on a lady who had died of heart failure for no apparent reason, found that her heart was encased with Candida yeast. Vaginal yeast infections are more prevalent today than ever, and they will never completely go away until the Candida yeast has been cleared from the intestinal area. To make matters worse, Candida can be sexually encouraged from one person to another.

The best book to get on this topic is called Sick and Tired: Reclaim Your Inner Terrain by Robert Young, PhD, and I HIGHLY recommend it.

Tiger Dance Club

Patong is an interesting place, there's no question about that. Not everyone chooses to go to Patong, and it's easy to understand why: it's a seedy, seedy place. I didn't think I'd be very interested in it, but if you know what "features" (shall we call them) to avoid, it's loads of fun. There's a bit of a "Times Square" feel to it, with so many people flooding the streets at all hours.

We pretty much party at Tiger, a dance club with multi-levels, etc. It's NUTS! I'm so thrilled to be dancing again, it was actually one of my goals. And what an incredible place to do it! Honestly, after an enjoyable but ridiculously tough week of training, Saturday nights in Patong can be just what the doctor ordered. And hey, isn't dancing cardio? I did end up having a few drinks, but I've been eating like a champ and exercising more and more every day, so I chose not to sweat it -- and have NO regrets!

Lindsey made it out dancing, although she fought the night before. Lucky us, Lindsey rocks!

Fin, my first trainer because he teaches the beginner class

made it out, too! He's also Tuk's brother and a kickass fighter himself.

This is the beginning of a series of pictures of Lindsey getting sandwiched. . . . HILARIOUS! I was crying I was laughing so hard at these!



- end of sandwich sequence, lol -

Everybody knows that Dennis (white hat) IS Patong.

Check out Coolio! What a GREAT shot!

EvenTuk made it out again!

DUDE, I sooo love you, Coolio!

PARTY ON!

I'll Miss Michelle

Michelle has been my roommate since I got here. Although that's only been a little over 2 weeks, I'm really honored to have met her aquaintance.

Michelle is 27, I believe, and from the UK, and she was obviously bright, witty and friendly from the bat. And serious about her training. She came to Rawai Muay Thai Gym to gain weight and strength in order to train back at home to be an.....emergency paramedic for something like the Red Cross, where she is part of a global response team to catastrophes and disasters, etc.

Michelle was already living in Thailand, though, about 2 hours north. She has been working with an organization called Grassroots Human Rights Education and Development. From their website, Grassroots HRED is working to promote education, human rights, and the development of safe, working environment for Burmese people in Thailand.

Michelle writes proposals, coordinates educators, fundraises and raises awareness for the Burmese, who are not allowed to be citizens here and therefore have no rights. Quite often, I'll see Burmese children working (12, 13, etc.). Depending on the province of Thailand they live in, some Burmese must wear tags at all times, cannot drive a motorbike or be seen out past 8 p.m., etc. You get the idea, total bullshit. Even paradise has it's issues, not that an American (or any other nation) has any room to judge in terms of segregation, racism, sexism, etc.; nobody and no nation is perfect). Seriously, at a restaurant an owner commented on how well she spoke to Thai. When Michelle said she lived here, the woman asked her what she did. When she said she worked with Burmese children, the woman's face obviously shifted and the conversation ended. Michelle said that that happens allllll the time, but she is tough and obviously unaffected.

Michelle works a lot with Burmese children, including some orphans. She got into this line of work a few years back when she showed up to help do relief work after the tsunami, and she clearly excels at it. She also excels at making a kickass raw Burmese salad that she so kindly showed me the other night, seasoned with pickled tea leaves. It is DIVINE.

I'll definitely miss her sarcasm and smile, but honestly I have found meeting Michelle inspiring and motivating, most of all. I mean, here's a girl who managed to get a team into Burma after the cyclone, secretly documenting the misuse of relief funds and donations, trying to help these people that the world really doesn't care about. I also found myself feeling quite humbled; sometimes I truly fit the bill of "ignorant American". I truly wasn't aware of these human rights issues going on, and am quite "Burma-ignorant" (among other places / situations, unfortunately).

One thing Michelle said that resonated with me is that it's almost a curse to know of some of these violations, because once you know, you can't go back. I know that feeling well in terms of both animal and human rights (medically speaking), and although it feels like a curse at times, I know and hope Michelle knows that it's really a blessing in disguise. There's nothing more rewarding than knowing you enhanced another life that day, even if you didn't make much money doing it and everybody frowns on you for going against the grain.

For an endearing slideshow of a summer camp Michelle helped coordinate and manage for Burmese children, go here.

I can't lie; I love, love, LOVE the Thai people (and so does Michelle, of course), and I have a hard time telling the difference between the Thai and Burmese. I know that the Burmese are more like "the mexicans" back in the United States in that they do a lot of the cheap, migrant labor. But they also can generally wear marks on their face from a certain clay that they find "beautifying". Knowing this, when I am out running or walking and see someone that I am pretty sure is Burmese, based on the above, I smile and wave a little bigger. Shhhh!

If you are interested in joining the many organizations and individuals who support their work, please click on this email grassroots_hre@yahoo.com and let them know. They will respond immediately. Or, if you prefer to send a check, their address is: P.O. Box 13, Takuapa Post Office, Phang Nga 82110, Thailand. Your gift to FED would be greatly appreciated. On behalf of the Burmese migrant children and families who are the real beneficiaries of your gift, thank you.

The "Front Porch"

I live in the shared housing, which is right next to the gym. It's three to a room, and 3 rooms in a row (the other 3 rooms are for staff members and their families). Here's how close to the gym we live, and some random shots of "the front porch", where the whole extended international "fam" generally gathers for some incredibly good, laid-back (and sometimes totally wrong, lol) times. For example, we actually started a Facebook group entitled "Rawai Porch Monkeys". So very wrong, but yet so right. We have no shame.

The Outdoor Market

Most nights a week there's a local outdoor market. This one is every Monday and Thursday, about 100 yards from the gym. Fresh food, clothes and more are sold there. It's a lot of fun and an easy way to pick up some local produce!

. . . and I saw this precious gem on my way out. Priceless!

The Weekend Challenge

The friends you meet. Even though we will all be staying in touch, it's hard when they become a part of your Thailand family, then leave! Then again, I'm a sap.

This is a bunch of us outside my front stoop; Michelle is the fierce blonde on the right and also my roommate, and our front door is right behind her/us. The tough chick in the turquoise that you don't want to mess with is of course myself. Jamie already left (2nd from the left, front row), which stinks, and now this weekend is Chia-chi's last weekend (not shown). I don't want Chia-chi to leave! The only GOOD news is that he's all set up in a killer section of San Francisco, so I can't wait to visit him!

This weekend is ALSO Laragh's last weekend (not shown), so after Lindsey's fight on Friday I'm sworn to going out with the ladies. Saturday night is Chia-chi's last night, which means more of last Saturday night and that I'm hitting the debaucherous Patong again to dance it up at Tiger. Hopefully we can get Tuk to come out, too!

Lastly, this week is Phuket's famous Vegetarian Festival. This weekend marks the end of it. I'll post on that separately, as it's a major event and I'm told there is nothing else in the world quite like it. As a vegan I'm intrigued by the rituals and practices that go on, and am looking forward to the show. I'm talking people walking on fire, in trances. And piercing their faces with thick sword-like objects, as well as slicing their tongues with razors. I'll be reporting more on this, trust me. Whether you read up on it or watch the videos is up to you!

So, this is a HUGE social weekend - especially since at some point I'd love to squeeze in the beach, and I'm determined to have fun but not to drink or stay out all night, and to stay focused on my goals.

My training is going AWESOME and my body is changing in the 2 short weeks I've been here---others have even commented. This morning I was too tired at 5:30am to get up for my 4.7 km, but I did skip group training and do my walk-run at 7:30am. Then I did a V.I.P. session with Joy (who is one!), who kicked my butt for an hour. Tonight at 4pm I'll do a group session, then I'm doing the 4.7km power-walk with Chia-chi, who is 6'2", and thus very long-legged. I'm pretty sore, but am excited about it. My diet's been excellent and my water intake is higher than ever!

In other news, today my neighbor and good friend Bob woke up kinda sick and has been in bed. Maternal Italian friend that I am, I insisted he let me saute' a cure-all for him. This morning he wouldn't listen, but this afternoon I asked nicely and he allowed me to make him a stir-fry of mushroom soy sauce (for flavor/base), then about 12 - 15 cloves of garlic, 3 white onions, and 3 red chili peppers, minced. His room has an electric wok that they let me borrow, so it was easy. That and he should drink some young coconuts, but this meal should knock out whatever bacteria he came across, for sure!

I almost could nap right now, honestly, so I'm off. It's 1pm and I'm going to down some stir-fry myself, then rest up for this afternoon's training session.

Update

I just didn't make it to this afternoon's session. I napped, which is unheard of, and woke up too groggy right before it. I'm sore, I'm tired, I'm not going to get hurt. I also don't even feel like I can make a fist. I still may do my cardio, we'll see. Either way, I'll be in bed early tonight and will do both tomorrow, including cardio. Life is good!