Hello, Fruitarianism!

Today is DAY 1 of me being ALL RAW. So far that has meant bananas and a Vega nutrition shake, simply mixed with water. That is because I am so damned tired! My diet will consist of green smoothies, Vega nutritional shakes (after workouts), and plain vegetables and fruits. And tons of water, which is a non-issue when training in the tropics. I don't like how I feel, and I know being all raw will make a difference. It always does!

It will also help me achieve my goals. Deng weighed me yesterday and told me I could be 70 kg when I leave in 3 months, which is exactly my goal. He also said I should jog. I also appeared to have gained about five pounds, though, which upset me. There's no way it was muscle yet! Danny reassured me that when people are new to the tropics, their bodies hold on to water, so not to worry. Basically, I want to lose about 25lbs in the next eleven weeks, while of course putting on muscle and toning up.

I have very little muscle, it seems. I realize I'm older than most and have been less active than most thanks to the big "detour" my health seemed to take as I felt worse and worse throughout a large portion of my life. When hit with insomnia AND chronic fatigue for so very long it seems that life feels like a cruel joke all too often. I feel so grateful to have the information I have now, but it is very hard to not compare yourself to others----something I struggle with all too often.

My goal this week was to make every workout session, which means about 3.5 - 4 hours a day, total, working out, and 12 workouts in 6 days. That is a hell of a lot when you are used to nothing, especially when you are drenched with sweat and in the heat of the tropics.

Many missed this morning's workout due to the fight last night, but I got up and went. I am proud of that! Even the trainers seemed tired, and it was a lighter workout, but one in which I was able to peacefully learn more blocking, plus practice my footwork. Right when I feel like I'm uncomfortable with something and might be in over my head, almost intuitively a trainer has me work on that very thing. It's awesome!

But at some point I felt my lower left back tighten up and spasm. As soon as training was over I took a long tired shower and headed off down the road for a Thai massage for 250 baht, which is about $7.50 or so. It was EXCELLENT.

I know now I cannot go to the beach in between sessions because it tires me out too much, as fun as it is. I also was going to go shopping today, but I opted not to. I'm just far too tired. Training is in an hour this afternoon and I just don't think I can make it. A lot of the guys got sore throats and were tired, and thankfully I don't feel ill, but I don't want to force my still overtired butt to train because that is when we get injured.

As much as it's my "goal" to make it to every one, I think I have to sit this one out. My totally ripped "muscle-man" friend Dave (who is the one who told me about this gym) is 40 and warned me that he trains about 1.5 days and takes 1 day off. Simply put, I'm 34 and I have some degeneration going on. I'm training hard and now that I'm all raw, I'm not going to stress about every second I'm not working out. It's still under a week that I've been here for pete's sakes! So I forgive myself for missing training this afternoon because as unable as I am to nap usually, I still feel super, super drowsy! I cannot even walk to the store, so I'm in bed resting, typing, and sipping water. And trying to stay cool. I just want to sleep it off, especially because my mind keeps resorting to thoughts that I really don't want to be having, like how my former "best friend" Peggy mistreated and used me. Ug. Who wants to think about that?

I may get up and cut up my dragon fruit. It looks like a lot of my fruit here will be bananas, dragon fruit, apples, watermelon and pineapple. Oh, there's a lot of huge grapes, too. Maybe some papaya and oranges (which are green here!?) Lychees are too much work, good but not great, and have this sticky crap that gets all over your hands. There's a lot of pomelos and guava here, too, so that's exciting. Fortunately, every restaurant has fruit plates and plain salads and yummy coconuts for very cheap, too. So I can enjoy going out with my friends, too, or treat myself to a meal out. I may even do that tonight IF I can, who knows....

I hope to be all raw/fruitarian for at least 3 weeks, but will likely stick with it a lot longer. I mean, why not? I feel really good about getting on this path already; it's calming my fears AND I'm going to feel and sleep so much better. I'm also going to see and feel the results very quickly, too, which I'm extra excited about.

Where will I get my protein?

Obviously, everybody is obsessed with protein here, just like everybody everywhere else, especially if it's a place where everybody is trying to get healthy. Sigh. I'm not sure people truly know what it even is or if they have ever looked at a food other than (what they are told about) "meat" to investigate the issue of protein. Cases of protein deficiency are actually very non-existent, especially in the western world. But you would never know that due to everybody's fear of and obsession with not getting enough.

I will get all the protein I need from fruits and vegetables. In fact, I am primarily taking the Vega shake for the probiotics, added enzymes and small range of excellent fats it has, even though it is of course low fat overall. I'll write more about this in my next post, actually, because it's an important topic. . . .

In general, I'll answer questions if asked about my diet, but that's about it. I don't preach because nobody responds to preaching, myself included, and I don't want to be "that guy". I also don't preach because I'm so far from perfect myself that I have no business doing so, and realize that. Thirdly, I don't want people to view me like so many view my former friends, people who will literally pretty much stop hanging out with people for continuing to put shrimp on their salads after they've explained to them how bad shrimp is for them.

When you take it those extremes, you really lose sight of what truly matters in life, and how important it is to just love people unconditionally. My 95 day fast really showed me this, as well as my experience being around my supposed "best friends" and seeing closehand how their treatment of people and their views on "helping others" have ruined various good friendships. I'm so grateful for this lesson, although I would have chosen just about any other way to learn it rather than have my best friends prove to be embarrassing, insulting, offensive and untrustworthy as hell. I can finally sit in peace while people pretty much do anything and simply not care, just appreciating their company. And hopefully I'll only have people in my life from this point on who can do the same for me.