Me, Kicking

Petsila training me in Ring 1. My left kick, in fine form. Too bad from the way the pad is being held it makes it look all wierd and like it's squooshing my boob. Oh well. Notice how I'm glistening with sweat. We just drip. Anyhow, thassme, kickin arse!

I had Petsila at the beginning of the week for the first time in many weeks.... and I felt so sick and fatigued, it was awful. I knew I looked and trained like sh*t and had no power at all, and he didn't seem that into it, consequently. I almost had to finish at 3 rounds, but I stuck it out. I even apologized. I wasn't "contagious" or I wouldn't have gone, but by the time I was done I was dizzy and awful, UG!

The next day it was similar (I had him again). Finally, I had him a third time and I felt GREAT. And he smiled big after like half a minute and was like, "You feel BETTER today, Mary!" and started showing me new stuff and put a smile on my face.

It felt good.

I'm finally BACK.

Adjusted to the heat.

Sleeping again.

Eating great.

Moved to a new room at the gym, inside the gym, to rock the next six weeks.

And pumped.

Life is good!

Thank You, *Name Censored* Resort!

Today was finally hot and sunny, and I was feeling good after sleeping great for the 2nd night in a row and, consequently, sleeping off a big majority of the mild "ick" that was going around that I was trying to ward off. Even Petsila had noticed that I was feeling better yesterday, which was a great feeling, but today I woke up even better that that. FINALLY!

I didn't want to go to the beach with everyone. I knew it would be crowded and sandy, I'd have to hitch a ride, blah blah blah. Nope, I wanted to get away. And work on my tan.

I started walking to the local pool, it's at one of the resorts. As long as you order something from the restaurant or bar, you are welcome to swim there as it's usually pretty empty. Works for us, right?

As I was walking I decided to try a different place that advertised a pool. The Thai guys working the gate let me in, and I snuck into the greatest pool I've ever seen. 680 square meters of the most gorgeous and well-tended pool these eyes have ever seen. It had all sorts of crevaces, a bar, a big loop around the building I could swim in if I wanted, etc.

I took the liberty of using one of their towels and sprawled out on a nice lawn chair, and immediately some dude came over to see if I wanted a cushion on it, under me. I told him I was fine. He asked what my room number was or if I was with the spa and I just said "Spa" and gave him a confused look. It seemed to work because everybody was fine with me the whole time.

I hope it works next time because I intend on going back. The water had a salt-water treatment, there were fountains everywhere, the view was breathtaking, geeze, I could go on and on. I also am not telling anyone what place it was (except maybe Lindsey) because I have a feeling I'm very lucky to have allowed in even though I can probably get in again, and I don't want to jeapordize that because everybody needs a hideout. ;-)

I mean, what a great Halloween! Normally in Chicago right now it's nasty out. Even Oregon is pleasant but not like this.

Now it's 3pm and time to start getting ready for training --- and to check out my color. The sun was HOT HOT HOT! You an tell High Season is around the corner!

Update . . . . .

Okay, for all those who asked, and because I'm not worried about it since it's tough to get in there, lol, and I think I managed because I was alone and all that hoo-ha and may not even be able to again, it was the Mangosteen Resort & Spa, which is very close to the gym!

Som Tam

Som Tam is definitely one of the greatest food inventions ever, hands down. Lindsay took me to get it for the first time, and I've been hooked ever since. It's 99% raw, 99% vegan (if you get it with no shrimp), and virtually fat-free. Does it get any better?

Som Tam is essentially "spicy green papaya salad", papaya being one of the top foods you can eat.

As of late, especially warding off whatever is going around, I've been eating especially well----and that means a lot of Som Tam. Where I like to go to get it has been putting extra garlic and extra chili pepper in it for me, to help boost my immunity.

Unfortunately, I saw them put a heaping spoonful of straight MSG in the dish, too, which is totally the NORM here, but something I'll be asking them to omit from here on out, geeze! It's amazing how many people here roll their eyes at the idea of being MSG-conscious, but it just goes to show how many have studied the topic. It's total poison, and something I may post more about.

Otherwise, Som Tam is full of flavor and super-healthy ingredients, so I refuse to give it up. And I love to watch it being made, because it's all done by pounding, with a mortar and pestle. So friggin cool!

I started researching Som Tam, because it's one of the few dishes I truly want to be able to make. I found this excellent write-up on it by an obviously charismatic dude. Here it is:

Introduction To Thai Food: Som Tam

by Robert Orson

Being married to a Thai for the last few years has meant learning a fair amount about Thai food. This isn't such a great accomplishment because it's usually the main topic of our conversations.

My wife once told me that a Thai would be most happy if she could eat seven times a day and I think she is pretty close to that mark. Any time she's not actually eating she can be counted on to be thinking of what or where to eat next.

There's obviously some kind of health secret here. If she's carrying two pounds extra, I have no idea where she's hiding it. If I ate like she did, it would take a crane to get me out of bed in the mornings. The answer must be that what she's eating must be healthy as well as delicious. Her number one favorite meal, snack, between meal pick-me-up, comfort food and health potion is ... somtam.

I confess that I had been thinking of somtam as a low class street vender food until I read a newspaper review of a local restaurant in Chiang Mai (Huen Phen) that quoted world class chef and author, Anthony Bourdain as saying that "their papaya salad is in fact the best salad he has ever eaten." Interesting.

Since then I've eaten it there, ordered it in other restaurants and stood beside street vendors in back alleys as they made some for me. It's always very good and I'm reminded of the great line that David Mamet wrote in Wag the Dog,"There are two things I know to be true. There's no difference between good flan and bad flan, and there is no war in Albania." My wife tells me that all somtam is good but there are some she likes more than others.

Regardless of where you get your somtam in Thailand, what I like is that it is always prepared fresh and usually in the front section of the restaurant (or behind the small glass booth perched on the street cart.)

The essentials are basic: a sharp knife, a spoon and a morter and pestle. The preparation is a blur of culinary poetry.

Throw a handful of chilies into the morter and give a good pound or two with the pestle to release the heat. In quick succession add some coarsely chopped tomato, a dash of sugar, a good splash of fish sauce (available now in most oriental markets,) a small spoon of lemon juice, a clove or two of garlic and (usually) some MSG.

The sauce is finished with the addition of a few tiny, whole crabs (poo) and some salted, fermented fish (balak.)
Pound and stir to bruise and mix the sauce then quickly julienne a firm green papaya and add the spaghetti sized pieces to the brew.

Pound and stir one last time to wilt the green fruit in the sauce. Spoon the salad to a plate or bowl and it will invariably look naturally elegant.

Now for the vocabulary to make sure it's done to your taste. Order Somtam Lao if you want the pungent, sour taste of the balak (fermented fish.) Somtam Thai omits the balak and adds peanuts, which I prefer.

"Mai Sai Poo" means hold the crab. "Mai Pom Chulot" is "no MSG." The somtam beginner should say, " mai phet" meaning "not spicy." I like to order "phet mai mak" or "not too spicy." Only a serious masochist should say "phet gadai" and should not then whine about the fiery pain that the true somtam addict craves.

Hot or not, somtam blends soft with crisp and has an intense but surprisingly balanced flavor that is sweet, salty, sour and bitter in every bite.

Robert Orson writes for: Easy Chiang Mai http://www.easy-chiangmai.com

The Halfway Mark

I haven't blogged about my training in the last week much, if anybody has noticed.

I've now been here for 50% of my stay, almost, meaning that I've been here about six weeks......

I've been thinking a lot about my training and my goals, and I've come up with a new outlook.

I've basically had to; about 2 1/2 weeks ago the weather started to change, and at some point, so did my sleep pattern. My old arch nemesis, insomnia, came back to pay me a visit.

I've always dealt with sleep issues. Here, for sleep issues, they give you either Valium or Xanax, neither of which is preferable. I found some extremely weak muscle relaxants I primarily took after sampling the others, but I hate taking anything - it always seems to have a negative effect in some way.....

When I train on no sleep or too little sleep, I almost always hurt myself, and I've seen too many people hurt themselves with one wrong lift of the weight or one bad kick that I don't want to have it happen to me.

In a nutshell, though, it's hard to say "I'm gonna" and "This is my new plan that I'm going to stick to" when you don't know if you are going to sleep that night, or for two nights in a row, etc. And then you feel like a failure, which is even worse.

For three nights last week alone I didn't sleep at all. It was a nightmare (no pun intended). Since this Friday I've only slept about 4 - 5 hours a night, and last night, only 2.5. I won't train on zero sleep, but I am still training at least once a day (the afternoon), but the last 3 days have been very hard, complete with dizzyness and total fatigue. I'm eating like a pro again, after a week of playing around due to hormones (LOL, sorry), and it feels great, like I'm "home" again.

It doesn't help that there is something going around the gym, and my neighbors had it. I don't seem to "get" get what everybody else gets, but I will get a symptom or two (knock on wood). My eyes were messed up for about 2 days, for example. And I have felt wiped, of course, but then again - as you well know by now - I'm not sleeping. When I think I might be susceptible to something going around, I generally will start loading up on garlic, white onion, cayenne pepper, water and young coconuts, and I just don't get anything too bad........ Works like a charm!

So, even though in spirit I want to be at every single training session, I'd be a fool to in my condition half the time at 7am, etc. But here's what I've realized in the last week: right now my goals are fitness. I LOVE Muay Thai, and I want to spar more and know the Wai Kru....eventually. But for right now, especially considering where I've been and what my goals are, I'm okay with not doing every single thing. I want to work on my technique as much as possible, as well as my fitness. The rest will come in time, I don't have to master it all TODAY, especially because I don't have a desire to fight for a very, very long time (if at all). I love the self-defense and the daily challenge it is, and the workout I get doing pads and training. Plus, it appears I'll be able to come back soon and/or continue with Muay Thai, so all in good time - not that I am using that as a reason to "slack".

But the Muay Thai, even twice a day, is not enough for weight loss. Especially when dealing with stubborn, "stored" fat. Personally, I've gained back a couple of the kilos of what I've lost due to hormones, but that actually is going to "help me" with my Biggest Loser contest, so I suppose it's alright, LOL! As a woman, I can just expect that to happen no matter what country I'm in and what exercise or diet I'm doing, I reckon. But due to the chronic but sporadic insomnia, I've stopped training twice a day and stopped running in the mornings.

I pretty much only want to be doing these things, too, which is what is really upsetting. Tonight I am trying a new sleeping aid and I am going to start eating even lighter (but still sensibly). The weather is still transitioning, but I'm adjusting to by now and we've had some relief due to the rains.

My goals now at the 50% mark are to OBVIOUSLY get as good a grip as possible on my sleep, and to add more cardio and weight-training to my routine. I love doing two trainings a day, but even one, as long as I'm getting a lot of cardio and weight-training, is sufficient. Still, ideally, I can do all of the above.

My fitness has come along enough that I can make the five rounds with the trainer (even Fin, the greatest kick-nazi around, and so fun you won't realize you're doing them....well, almost) and my form is improving daily - especially with guidance from fighters like Lindsay. I'm proud of that; even if my weight hasn't changed TONS in six weeks, I've missed a little time here and there and I'm building muscle and endurance. My fitness has improved still (as has my Muay Thai, obviously), but I miss the intensity of what I was doing before, honestly, and the faster results.

You can do a LOT in six weeks, and it at least feels like I am entering a very good place right now after this temporary hurdle - especially with our contest going on. I'm trying out a new antihistimine-type sleep aid, my hormones should be balancing out soon (training in Thailand really threw them for their money), and I'm looking forward to my first big night of sleep in about a week, roughly. If all goes well, I'll be up and at 'em in no time.

For cardio I plan on hiking on a treadmill, at a very steep incline. And maybe going for a walk/run outside, again, at another time. I miss that. The weight training won't be super involved; doing squats, lunges, more intense ab work, and some arm exercises should do the trick. If Lindsay's up for it, I'll do it as personal training with her. But I'll have to check her schedule and availability.

I'm excited to rock it by doing all I can do in a day versus focusing on what I couldn't do for reasons that feel out of my control. I'm proud of what I've accomplished, and I can still get a ton accomplished in six weeks, my kick alone has improved a million times over since my arrival, big time!

My Heart Goes Out To Jennifer Hudson

Wow.

You know, I cannot help but be floored by the bits and pieces of what's going on with her life that are featured on the Yahoo or Google news pages, etc., when I'm logging in and stuff.

I never watched American Idol, I didn't know who she was. In recent years I came to like what I knew of her for a number of reasons....

I love that she is from Chicago, too, for starters. A south sider. She's a real person, and down to earth. This is very apparent about her.

When I heard she beat out Beyonce for an Oscar, hell-o! Awesome. And good for her. I know Halle Berry was like the "first black woman" to win an Oscar (sadly enough), but let's face it, Halle Berry is or looks mixed at best. Of course she has totally white features -- not that that should matter, but to chalk it up as a giant win for "Africa" was a bit over the top in my opinion. Plus, Beyonce is just such an annoying princess, ug! Did you all know her dad chalked the Oscars up as "racist", saying that's why she didn't win, when she lost to a black woman that made his bleached out, fake blue-eyed daughter look white, plus like 2 other blacks won. PRICELESS!

After that, I heard a kickass story. I heard that Jennifer Hudson was offered a role in a movie for three million dollars and turned it down because it featured gratuitous nudity of another female. She didn't even want to be associated with it, said she was a "role model". Could she be any cooler? She has class, man.

So, she also helps put more curves in the media. She's gorgeous and curvaceous...and looks healthy. I read she was working with a trainer and was like a curvy size twelve or something now. Maybe 10. I'm big-boned like her and love it, and GOOD FOR HER for loving herself in America's wacked out culture. She knows she looks good, and is a positive example for women everywhere.

And now her mother (she didn't have a father, or he died when she was young I think; I don't really study her, this blog entry summarizes all my random knowledge about her), her brother and now it appears her 7-year old nephew are all murdered in cold blood, at the same time. If somebody so much as touched my nephew, I'd have to be committed.

I mean, my heart just goes out to her right now. Absolutely. How they are coping is beyond me, and I'm glad to hear she has a strong church she's been a part of her whole life (even though I'm not religious at all) and to know that she has faith. Because if there is ever a time in life that it will get you through something, this would be it.

Mindfulness

MINDFULNESS is another word for awareness.

It may be called "bare attention" or "wise attention".

Ellen Langer

Mindfulness is concentrated awareness of one's thoughts, actions or motivations. After my training with Lindsey this morning, I realize how much I need to be focused only on myself and every movement while I train.

It's easy to just go through the motions, shadow boxing or on the bags. Even during pad work, you aren't stopped about every last detail of your workout and can escape weeks of training, even months, without being corrected on some seriously bad habits.

I was sweating so much more when I was fully focusing on my hips, my footwork, making the correct motion, etc. with Lindsey today. I felt it more in my abs, my arms, you name it and I felt it more there.


I see how much work I have to do, and - more importantly - how to do it. When doing shadow boxing or working on the bags, it's easy just to kind of "hit away" (or, in the case of shadow, "pretend-hit away") while thinking of something entirely different or just passing time until you get in the ring. NOW I know that I should be focusing on every aspect of every punch, jab, uppercut, hook, kick, knee, and elbow (although even Lindsey admitted that my elbows were really good.....they are my favorite, after all, LOL!) ESPECIALLY MY FOOTWORK, which seems to be my biggest obstacle right now.

I've got my work cut out for me. I paid for a VIP with Lindsey on Monday to go over it all again, so I can continue practicing my good habits while she's gone (note: she leaves for Australia for 10 days soon).

I'm the Ace Of Spades Today

I already know what you are going to think about this, but I'm telling you, it is eerie how accurate these are, and not just because I "want them to be accurate", etc. My badass friend Kelly turned me on to this system of astrology called "Destiny Cards", and I find it to be wicked accurate. My life card is the 8 of Hearts, but each day you are a different card, and different cards influence your year, etc. Plus there are 52 day cycles you go through as the year proceeds, etc.

Here's a brief explanation from their website, although it's far more in-debth than this:

Each birthday of the year is governed by one of the 53 playing cards (52 plus the Joker). These cards represent personality archetypes, symbols of our personal expression that reflect with amazing accuracy what the important elements of our life will be like. When you study the meaning and significance of your Birth Card, you will have some invaluable knowledge about yourself. You will understand what your natural gifts really are, what sorts of work will bring the most satisfaction, how you interact with others in personal relationships, what are the biggest challenges you are facing this lifetime, and how you can get the most from your life by using the energies that come most easily and naturally to you.

But, beyond self understanding, the Book of Destiny also has an uncannily accurate record of your entire life. Each year of your life is divided up into seven, 52-day time periods. Each period will be governed by anywhere from two to eight cards which will accurately reflect what will happen to you during that time period. This system has been called the most accurate one ever discovered and everyone who has learned to use it, which takes about 2 hours, is amazed at what they discover.

Destiny versus Free Will
All the cards for your entire life are in the book. They are fixed and unchangeable. However, each card has both high and low manisfestations. Those whose lives are successful and happy have accessed the higher levels of expression for their cards. Once you know what your cards are, and the possible modes for expressing them, you are challenged to transform your life into its highest expression. This is where your will makes a definite difference.

How you can learn to read the Book of Destiny for yourself:
This ancient system has been revived just in the past 5 years, being relatively unknown since its first introduction to the world in 1894. After years of studying the system and using it to give personal readings to many individuals, Robert Camp wrote books describing step by step how to access the information. His first book is called The Cards of Your Destiny. This book leads you step by step through the process of doing yearly, monthly and weekly readings from the Book of Destiny. Everything you need is in the book including all of the Yearly Spreads of Cards for each of the Birth Cards and the complete meanings of all the various cards in the 10 different positions that they can occupy in your Yearly Spreads. With this book, you will be doing your first reading in a matter of an hour or two.

Robert's second book, Love Cards, gives you all the information that his first book didn't cover. It gives you a detailed description of each of the 52 Birth Cards and the Joker. It tells you how people of these cards behave, what their karmic patterns are, their strengths and weaknesses and how they act in personal relationships. But it goes beyond this to present you with a quick and highly accurate method of doing compatibility readings between any two people. You can look up your card and compare it with anyone you have ever met and know exactly how the two of you relate, or would relate, in an intimate relationship. This book is 340 pages long and is full of interesting and useful information that will get you looking up everyone you know.

Like I thought this was interesting. I don't check these every day, but this is today's card, which would directly support the "breakthrough" I made today, psychologically.

My personal card for today is the Ace of Clubs.

The Basic Meaning of the Ace of Clubs
The Ace of Clubs means a strong desire for knowledge of some kind or the birth of a new idea, plan, or way of communicating with the world around you. This could also mean a desire for some specific information, for an education, or to pursue some new plans you make. The Ace of Clubs always means a new beginning of some sort. This could be a new job idea or just embarking on a new way of thinking and communicating with others. The exact nature of the beginning will depend on the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time, but in general, this is a good time to plan to start something new.

Seriously, you can go to http://www.7thunders.com/ and do free readings yourself. I haven't bought the books yet because I just use Kelly's, but I definitely want to pick them up. They are worthwhile!

My 52-Day Cycle Right Now

So, like this is what I'm talking about, right?

My card for this current 52 day period, which began like almost right when I got to Thailand and ends right when I'm leaving (oddly enough), is the Eight Of Clubs.

The Basic Meaning of the Eight of Clubs
The Eight of Clubs is the card of mental power, the ability to focus one's mind on a goal or objective and see it through to a successful conclusion. This power is usually applied to some mental or educational task. It bestows the power to overcome all problems by focusing one's thoughts and it usually occurs when there is something that we need to learn or accomplish on the mental level. The Eight of Clubs is one of the three, 'fixed' cards. When it appears, we have the opportunity to fix our mind on certain goals and objectives. It is the card of focus of the mind. Out of that focus and concentration, success is assured.

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining!

My friend Chia-Chi emailed me about my sparring catastrophe and said I should "ask the trainers how to defeat a quicker opponent", then reminded me that I have strength and power on my side, no matter what.

That did get me to thinking that the trainer (whom I adore) that was monitoring my sparring session should have been coaching me, giving us each suggestions on how to handle each other, etc., instead of just watching.

But okay, enough of all that. At lunch I found out GREAT NEWS: Lindsey, one of our pro fighters from Canada, is going to start doing VIP sessions! Just the other day Lindsey in five minutes showed me what I was doing wrong with my punch. I can't lie, I need her to show me again, but I could feel the difference immediately.

That means I get to train with another girl who is of similar build, strengths and weaknesses, even though she's really fit and I'm not. Our trainers speak English well enough, but they are also men, so they have more upper than lower body strength, and they are professional muay thai fighters who have been doing this since they were 5 or so. They are quick as hell. With my build, I'm never going to be Speedy Gonzales, but I am an Amazon, and certainly that must stand for something.

Lindsey speaks my language, is an excellent communicator to boot, professionally fights and is even a Muay Thai instructor at home in Canada. We get on famously and I'm looking forward to the sessions already. At lunch I asked her how she defeats opponents who are quicker than her (which she says they all are), and she laughed and said she honestly just uses her strength to pound them; if they are kicking at her she just covers up and walks right into it and plows them.

THIS is the kind of information I'm looking for, I mean, these are the questions I need answered in terms of how to put it all together. So I'm sooooo glad for this morning, ultimately.

Sometimes what looks like an obstacle is really an opportunity.

Reality Check

I made it to training this morning, which I'm happy for, but it was really, really hard for me. Not to get up, but to spar.

I'm slow. And It's hard not to compare yourself to others, period. I stink at it and have a tough time putting it all together. I've never been very mechanical as a person, and have been much more of a thinker. But instead of going on about it and how even me slow today is a lot faster than me at any point in the last few years, I'm just going to commit to going to training 2x a day, no matter what, and then doing whatever other training I want in the meantime.

Monday starts my 4-week challenge, and I can't wait. I just haven't been happy in the last week because I'm not doing enough. The weather changed, my sleep got messed up, more and more people were partying outside my room later and later at night........and what a ricochet effect it all had on me.

Plus, I'm very hormonal right now. Like as in a "I read the poem Footprints this morning, online, and got all choked up" kind of hormonal. I have cramps and just want to cry really bad! I almost did this morning, nothing I was doing was right. Nothing. Everything I did got corrected. Everything. I remember our fighter Lindsey telling me she's had sessions where she just cried afterwards, and now I understand the feeling. However, I got what I deserved for having not been training recently.

I can't NOT go to a session because I don't like doing what we are learning that day. I've kind of stayed within my comfort zones the last couple of weeks, seeing as how new this is to me it's all a bit uncomfortable. But honestly, this morning sparring it really showed. I can do the moves individually, but putting it allll together challenges me in a way that I'm not used to at all, especially since my coordination has been under attack for the last decade or so. And it was enough to wake me up.

I wonder if I also have a hard time with just hitting on people a bit. I thought that it might be therapuetic, and I'm glad for the self-defense, but growing up I was always against stuff like boxing as a "sport" because it's so violent. And now here I am, LOL! Never say never, and I do love the aggressiveness of Muay Thai, but I do feel it's possible that that is a an obstacle in my presence. Not sure if it's due to the girl or the Gandhi in me, but yeah, while I'm okay with being hit and it even hurting, I'm still learning to feel comfortable hitting actual people. I always had a lot of "fight" in me, but towards issues and stuff. And my weapon is my pen or my mouth. Using or even relying on my body, which I'm used to just numbing or having FAIL ME, is quite another world for me. THAT is the reality I'm facing right now. Then again, I may be totally fine with beating on others and it's just an issue of skills and speed.

Ultimately, I realize that I'm not proud of this but my tendency - like many others - is to avoid what I don't like, even if it will make me a better person or fighter. Or even to quit. This comes easy to nobody (least of all me, but still). Yes, I dare say that right now I'm dealing with the stress of wanting to quit but of course not wanting to quit, which is being heavily influenced by my hormones right now, so I don't want to give it any attention. Especially since I LOVE Thailand, I LOVE Muay Thai, and I LOVE my trainers. I just don't love MYSELF too much right now because I seem to be getting in my own way all week! None of this is easy to admit, but it feels good to be getting to the root of the problem. Confuscious said, "It doesn't matter how slow you go, just don't stop". And Confuscious is right. I've been starting and stopping, starting and stopping. And doing okay for myself until this past week, but still, I need to make it to every session, regardless. And will. It's what I'm here to do.

A lot of the people around me are designing their "own" workout plans and coming up with "better" ways to get fit in the tropics; some of them are only doing one training session a day, skipping entire days, or are incorporating other stuff (which isn't a bad idea), etc. Others are injured, which is quite easy to do here. Bob's back is still out, Viola sprained her ankle in her first day or two; that is the flipside of forcing yourself to train when you are tired, and the beginning of why I took some time off: training on zero sleep is NOT wise to do, so I automatically missed three days off the bat. Then you take a sleep-aid and it has the opposite effect where it's harder to wake up. It's a fine line between pushing yourself and forcing yourself.

I wish I could afford the VIP lessons. They are only $15 each, but that's $150 for just two weeks, which is a lot of money for me right now. If I'm living on my nutrition shakes next month, I may just DO IT for two weeks, though. This month I really, really, really want to improve. I'll be at every session for two weeks, then VIP the last two weeks of the month if I keep my promise to myself. Or, rather, WHEN I keep my promise to myself.

For right now the plan is that I'm eating right, training, hitting the beach or pool Saturday afternoon and - to be honest - am going out all night Saturday in Patong, and I cannot wait. If ANYBODY needs a drink this weekend, it's Me! It'll feel good knowing that I'll be past all the bullshit with myself and ready to just train hard, with a competition to keep me motivated to boot!

I Just Cannot Eat Like Everybody Else

That is what it basically comes down to, kids. I mean, anybody that comes to Thailand, even just to party, generally loses weight. That is just common knowledge and is due to the lack of fast food and so many preservatives, even if they are eating whatever the hell they want.

I'm one of the only vegans in Phuket, I swear, and it's a place that is surprisingly very meat-heavy in diet. (I've heard other places in Thailand were more vegetarian-friendly, probably poorer areas, honestly). Truthfully, even if you AREN'T vegan, it's a good place to maybe eat more vegan considering the fact that most meat sits out under the sun...in the tropics...for hours, before people buy it. That's just not good, and why most countries have laws surrounding that kind of thing.

If I go out, I can get away with fruit, a salad, sauteed vegetables or Som Tam, a wickedly good spicy raw green papaya salad. But that's about it.

Whenever I even eat vegan (therefore healthier, easier digestable) versions of what EVERYBODY ELSE is eating, my body reacts. I stop sleeping, I'm lethargic, I don't want to train, my body feels hotter and slower, my blood sugar goes haywire and I just crave bad stuff all day, I get so bloated it messes with my head, causing me to truly think I've gained 50lbs in like 3 days, which is how it feels. And I'm just talking about rice and noodle dishes, people, sometimes (if I'm lucky) with some tofu in it. With like a coconut-curry sauce, etc. You know, good stuff!

It's like I'm ALLERGIC to it, I swear. I know it's some kind of "blessing in disguise", because then I can only put optimal nutrition in my body (without repercussion, that is), but it certainly doesn't feel like it all the time, let me tell you. I just have to remember that my body hasn't been well in a long time, and it's still working hard to catch up, health-wise, as well as conquer Candida. After all, there is only one dis-ease, called Toxemia. It just has many names and faces. My digestion is clearly compromised still. Either that or highly selective, LOL!

I don't know when or if I'll ever be able to eat like other people; especially when what makes them healthier makes me feel like total crap and affects every area of my being. Then again, I've done a million cleanses and although I am far from perfect in terms ot toxicity, perhaps I'm more cleaned out than I think. If a lot of these other people KNEW how good and how much stronger you feel while juice-fasting, or how much MORE energy you have on blended foods, maybe their bodies would remind THEM, too, when they ate less than perfect. In the meantime, it's just letting them know that less toxins make you feel better, so they are being rewarded when they eat a big Thai meal. I however am being punished, LOL! At least that's how it feels.

It's not that I can "never" have that stuff, I just have to be very careful with it, and it's extremely frustrating. I know now that if today is my first day "eating right", I won't feel okay for about 2 more days. HOW LAME, RIGHT?

I know that I do best on blended foods and liquids, always have and always will. It is just simple science that the more nutrient and mineral dense and more assimilable /bioavailable your food is, the better you will feel, the more energy you will have and the healthier you will be.

Honestly, I just wish I had some Udo's Oils here. I cannot wait to get on them this winter when I'm in the states again!

Most people dig their graves with a fork and a spoon.

Anonymous

How To Fail A Test With Dignity (Humor)

This has nothing to do with Thai boxing and is totally off topic, but I think they are hilarious. The first one had me crying. Enjoy!

The Bar Down The Road

There is a huge reggae bar down by Nai Harn Beach, but there's also a tiny reggae-ish bar down the road from us here, just past the market on the opposite side. It always seemed empty, though. Every time I ran by, I'd hear a voice calling me to "Stop in!", but like I'm really going to quit my jog to go for a beer, right?

Anyways, one day I FINALLY decided to follow the voice, and am glad I did! This place is so cool on the inside, small but killer! And "Aek", pronounced "Ache", is soooo cool! We sat and talked, and since then I've been in like 3 - 4 times, just to say hi.

The rich people in the villas right next to it are mainly who frequent it (and even they are very, very nice and friendly), but he's always playing AC/DC, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Slits, reggae, and so much more. Very good taste in music, and a pretty decent handle on the English language (even though he says he doesn't). Aek says he fought muay thai when he was a kid, but he quit because "it hurt", LOL! I could not argue with him there........

Anyways, it's nice to get away a bit to where nobody from the gym ever goes (for some reason). Last night I stopped in after the birthday party, where I was trying to aid my digestion by taking a stroll.

A few of Aek's friends were there that I met last time (they live in Patong; one owns a reggae bar there), and we had a great conversation on a whole range of topics. A super nice time, plus he loaned me an umbrella so I didn't have to walk home in the rain that finally came.

Here's some photos of Aek, his friends, and the bar. As you can see, it's very open, like a hut, like most restaurants and bars here in Thailand are. Also, Aek has some pretty wicked tattoos........

P.S. I don't even know the name of this place, LOL!

Pooh's Birthday Party!

Last night I was going on a short walk down our street to get some fresh air and think about some things. As I walked by the tiny strip mall about 100 yards down the road that we allllll frequent, I was called upon to "come to the birthday party".

The owners of this strip mall are all related, more or less, and it consists of a market, an internet cafe, a small shop, a massage parlor, a tourist agency/visa run/bike rental/taxi service "shop" and, at the very end, a phenomenal restaurant called "The Cashew Nut" that most of us eat at.

Everybody at this strip mall is very supportive of the gym as well, and is extremely outgoing and friendly. They are always waving hello, driving us places, helping us with any Thailand questions/issues, and so forth. They even come to the fights sometimes to cheer our gym on. We are all pretty familiar with them and even their kids, and we all see "Pooh", the four year old boy, playing outside and around the shops like daily. But HOW WONDERFUL for them to invite like EVERYBODY to his birthday party! I was just blown away by their generosity, although remembering where I was, it shouldn't have been that surprising to me. I mean, every day when I run or walk by them I am met with a ton of smiles and everybody yelling "Hi Mary!" It's just awesome.

I was hungry and happily pulled up a chair and sat down. Very shortly, more and more gym members and Thais showed up. There was soooo much food it was ridiculous!

Oddly enough, this outstanding show of warmth and generosity reminds me of the few times I've spend on the west and way south sides of Chicago, where "supposedly" white people are NOT supposed to go. Granted, I was always there with musicians I knew, but still, even they didn't love going there, lol! Still, whenever I did show up, there was no cover charge and a free buffet, right in the ghetto. Any white club would charge you to walk in the door, then for every bite you took. But instead I had guests and employees introducing themselves and asking me if they could get me a plate, etc. It seems SOMEtimes, not always, that the less people have, the more generous they can be --- although Nui and the others at this strip mall definitely do alright, especially for Thailand.

Although it was getting darker, here's a picture of "the festivities"!

Bob serving up free ice cream!

Deng, one of our trainers, insisted on posing for a shot.

He was just driving by, going home, and decided to stop in, too!

Getting their grub on...........

Gemma from London, who just arrived this week!

Coolio, living the life, LOL!

This is NUI, who is a bundle of energy and kindness!

She speaks English very well and is the sweetest thing ever.

Some of the Thais sat inside, on the floor.

Pooh and some of his loot! SO HAPPY!

Two of the local massage therapists that work at Su's Massage.

THEY ARE THE BEST, and are sooo friendly!

Mr. Clean - I mean Bob - and "the family". I wish I knew more names and who is related, but on the left

is the doll who ushered me in & runs one of the stores,

then Bob and Nui (on the right).

We all tease Bob because he's soooo

"family-oriented" that he is always down there hanging out with "his Thai family".

Oddly enough, I generally don't pet the dogs here. They are all half-pets,

but generally half (or "more than half") strays. Many seem neglected, but not this

friendly guy, clearly hoping to score some leftovers, lol!

Some things are UNIVERSAL . . . . . . . .

Then he wiped his face with his hands and wiped his hands on his 12 year old sister's back, and she swatted him on the behind. Ah, siblings!

WHAT A RANDOM, FUN TIME!