I went to afternoon training today, truly inspired. It was going great. I had Petsila in Ring One, and I was psyched because I love working with him. He had me do one of the new low-kicks he taught me and was really encouraging of how I was fighting......and then I landed wrong on my left calf, and actually yelped "Ouch!" We both stopped, and I felt it out, and thought I would be fine....maybe. Hovick and Lindsey were over by me by then and I kept fighting because it felt so good to feel better at muay thai. Then again, and worse, a huge "Ouch!" and a hop, and Lindsey and Hovick told me to absolutely get out of the ring, so my rounds got cut short.
I started to cry a bit - NOT from the pain, but because I have three weeks left and am in the middle of learning to run (correctly) with personal training with Lindsey and was deathly terrified I'd be out of commission until I leave.
Fin came over and walked me to one of his friends who trains the kids, and told him in Thai to massage their hot boxing oil stuff into my calf, which felt good. Then I iced it, while crying to Danny again about my fear. Fin came over and massaged it really really well, and I'm remaining very positive that as long as I rest it up well, I'll be fine in a couple days - and it's Friday tomorrow anyways. Danny says I should know more by tomorrow, so I'm going to go to bed early and if I train with Lindsey tomorrow, I'm going to do upper body and ab work.
I know it sounds "ironic" that I just explained my short depressive spell of the morning, then got injured this afternoon, and after including information from "The Secret". But I did try to make it clear that I know I'm blessed and loved and do have gratitude. Plus, and this is the thing, being in the ring was SUCH an anti-depressant! I love hitting pads with Petsila, I love the people at this camp, I felt fit and flexible, and I was on a high when it happened. Let's all just hope it's a very quick recovery.
BECAUSE I've been writing to a friend, "L", who is coming out here next year. And one of the things she's shared with me is how boxing has transformed her life. In her own words, that resonated with me:
"Let me tell you about something.I have already mentioned that I used to party quite a bit. Well, I don't anymore. Boxing has sort of transformed my life, well, at least it's a big factor. If I have a training session, I have a training session and it's in my diary weeks beforehand and there is almost nothing that will make me not go. It's only three times a week (plus other training but then I can be more flexible). I no longer go to parties, I don't drink BECAUSE I do not anjoy bars anymore and they interfere with my training."
And I could see really getting into this as my fitness improves even more. And fighting when I come back, eventually. Or at least giving it a go. Fight training is hard, but I can see how it's a high. I'm not there yet, and I'll probably always enjoy a party here and there, but I do find myself wanting to run and do sit-ups and push-ups NOT to look good and fit into a more fashionable pair of jeans, but because I want to box (Thai box) better, and that is a totally new and different perspective for me, and one that I am loving.
When I go home to the states, I intend on keeping up on the cardio and the strength-training, regardless if I can do Muay Thai during that time, so that when I come back I'm even better in the ring. That's a huge revelation for me, whether I fight or not, ever. (Although anyone can fight at some point, and it's worth it just to be able to get into the fights for free, LOL!) Sometimes as women it's easy to get bitter about working out or getting fit because we're told to do it for alllllll the wrong reasons: there's something wrong with how we look, we're not thin or small enough, guys won't accept us if we're not perfect, etc. And nothing is ever of course good enough. But honestly, this feels entirely different, and much healthier and exciting. I'm EXCITED about it.
I'll be fine, this I know. I always am. And I'm strong. And I'm excited. And my calf is going to heal quickly. I'll even do some self-reiki tonight (I'm a Reiki Master). I have love and support, and everybody in my life is doing the best they can from where they are at to show it, and I'm appreciative. I'm allowed to question things, I'm allowed to feel sad at times, and some of my concerns and questions and upsets are valid, but still temporary in the long run. Life is good.
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